Cops, Robbers, Youkai
by A Successful Businessman
Summary: For Jack Spring, it started out with a simple life. Then, everything changed when the fire nati-when he found a girl staring at him in his run down apartment. Since then, he's been noticing things around him that he never saw before. And, of course, he exploited them to the best of his ability. When he travels to Gensokyo, he learns he's going to need a lot more than what he has...
1. 1 - Prologue

A/N: Nothing much to say here, just be aware that there are OC's, and the story is very over-the-top. While Gensokyo is the crazy land of illusions, that does not mean that the outside world is akin to reality, as you will see. Thank you for reading. Oh, and Touhou belongs to ZUN. Can't forget that.

_Chapter One: Prologue_

POV: ?

"Uggghhhhh….." In a pained tone I moan loudly. My head, what I normally consider to be my best friend, is trying to kill me. My distasteful moans, what my friends normally consider to be over the top and irritating, go unheard as the clamour of the situation pounds my head from all directions. I, quite honestly, do not blame my head, but would quite appreciate some clarity as to just what is happening.

I don't quite recall how this happened, all I know is that a large group of people, of about one hundred or so, myself included, had found ourselves in a large arena. The ground is a tan dirt, with a dust cloud permeating the air, tinting it a near orange. Above is a black sky, sprinkled with red lighting. As with all arenas, there is a seat for the owner, or the guest of honor. And while the stands are empty in this throne sits one figure, clad in a purple gown. She keeps a fan over her face, but one, anyone paying attention in the slightest, could easily tell she's smiling, enjoying the clamour in the arena.

As for the other hundred or so people, a majority of them were already dead, killed by an unnatural monster, nigh indescribable. The closest thing I could compare it to is a mammoth; though it has no fur it's 'skin' is a deep purple, it drips off the beast like tar, yet the beast never runs out of mass. Its tusks are faded yellow, all four of them, and each is covered with blood. They curve inwards, for whatever reason. One of the stranger things is, when the tar drips off plentifully, it reveals an eye before tar seeps through the tear ducts, concealing the sight of the beast's piercing stare. Oddly, the eyes are quite calm, though they seem to be all over the beast. These are its basic features, it has several more… much more horrifying traits. Its maw sends shivers down my spine when it opened up to bite, or even swallow, a man. All I can see in its mouth is complete and utter darkness. And, while the beast is considerably large, it is also fast, faster than most men could run. Its worst feature, and probably most relevant trait, is of course, the fact that it is still rampaging through the arena.

There must have been at least thirteen killed when that thing fell from the sky, we were all bunched up and talking, and with no hesitancy it gored four more, one on each tusk. They still hang there, staring at me with wide, shock filled eyes. Though, for a moment, they move out of the way, being pulled away by the beast's jaw muscles, allowing the beast to eat another man. Tar flies everywhere as the beast jumps onto an unfortunate group like an oversized rabid dog.

Everyone, including myself, continues to scramble in any and all directions away from the beast; and everyone, save for myself, was screaming, and death wails occurred quite often, all creating a huge clamour. I, myself, find that screaming only serves to pain my head and make my voice hoarse. I prefer to carefully analyze the situation mentally.

_For the seventeenth time today, where the hell am I!? What place has an arena like this, no, what place has a sky like this! Can't be a world power, they're too populated to have an arena like this empty… How did I even ge- My god… there's blood everywhere… and it's mixing with the tar… I think I stepped in a puddle of it…. W-why is my body not shaking? The air smells of death… at least that's what I believe death smells like… like iron and rotting flesh… Why am I not shaking! I'm scared… my voice, my head tells me that. But my body… it seems eager… eager to die? Dammit, just what is going on!_

Yes, very careful observation.

_What am I going to do? Just run and hope for the best? That's everyone's 'plan,' every single one who thinks about themselves without looking at the big picture… no… the only possible way to survive would be to kill the beast. And for that… at least forty men, still alive, each 'smart' enough not to stick near anyone else. For this to work…_

"Hey!" I shout, loudly, my voice far from hoarse, strong even, even if my head is weak and my body 'eager.' "Anyone that's still alive, we need to fight this thing or we'll _all _be dead." My responses aren't fairly varied.

"Shut up kid!"/ "Get out of the way!"/ "Are you insane!" They all occur at the same time, of course, with even more screaming, furthering the annoying clamour.

_…Idiots! All of them! Like cattle to the slaughter! Each thinks themselves as God's gift, even the atheists! That they will survive 'because I'm me' while countless others, well, around 63 at this point, die around them! That thing does not care how special you think you are, but rather, has a complicated process in which it chooses who to attack first based on taste, proximity, and some other insane monster mentalities. Screw this! I'd rather die than live amongst foolish cowards!_

I stare at the gargantuan beast from afar, who has just rammed a poor coward into the arena wall. I stand further away from the beast than anyone else in the arena, just pondering.

_I much prefer to be a rational coward._

I dash across the arena, kicking up dust and sidestepping people foolish to run away from the creature. _It _turns around and stares at me blindly for a moment before bellowing right at me. It's maw yells, sending spittle and death in my direction.

_Don't stop, even for a moment, you stop and you die!_

I jump. I bounce off a bloodied tusk and land on the beast's head. My legs begin to sink into the beast's tar immediately. I urge my body forward, the first step nearly swallowing me, but each successive step is easier, faster.

_You have the beast up to the wall, now's the only chance!_

As I run across this behemoth's back it begins to shake wildly in an attempt to shake me off. I don't stay on for long. I jump. The beast turns around to see me dangling from the arena wall, my legs flailing in the air. It backs up and charges at the wall like a rampaging bull, but I've already climbed into the stands, full seconds before the impact. I smirk.

_And that's why I'm thankful the beast was backed into the wall._

I calm down, my heartbeat slowing to more natural speeds. I take one glance at my legs and quickly look away. While it doesn't feel all that bad, like a light tingling, the skin is corroding away from the ankle down. It must have been the tar, but it doesn't matter; I digress, I'm away from _that. _Exhausted, I fall on my back.

_All that blood, all that screaming, all that death…_

I shiver, but simply look at the sky for a few moments, laughing painfully. Then, I see one tar covered hoof clamber over the arena wall and into the stands. I scramble up and start to run, the beast chasing after me through the roman styled seats.

_T-that thing can climb!? B-but what about the other men down there, what happened to them? Did the beast kill them all? No, too fast, even for it. Why would the beast come after me then!? I'm a harder meal to catch, have less meat on me, and am only one as compared to thirty! …It can't be smart enough to realize that those thirty men are trapped, can it?_

We continue to circle around the stands, while I praise my speed and mobility, my stamina is waning, even with a second wind, and those tremors behind me are only coming closer. I don't turn around, not even for a glimpse, I just stare ahead of me. After making a near half circle around the arena, curse my luck, I turn and dash up the stands; now staring directly into the eyes of the sole spectator.

_So many things I want to know; where am I, what is that beast, who are you, who makes your clothes, does he make male clothing, why am I here, why exactly did I watch sixty or so men die before my eyes, why do I know that the other thirty or so men will die regardless, why am I not shaking, but most importantly…_

"Why the hell are you smiling!?" I stop right in front of the seat of honor and punch the smug blonde right through her own fan.

…Except I don't. She disappears as if she was never there, laughing playfully, almost like a child. I stand there, blinking, and the beast rams into my back.

* * *

"Aaauuuugghhhhh!" I pull my head up and lean forward in my bed as I bring one head to my temples. Huffing and puffing, I slowly scan my tiny apartment; a dull room with peeling wallpaper, dirt tinted windows, and a lack of a heater. The fan above spins slowly, rocking a dim light back and forth. I fall back onto my bed, waiting for the cold sweat to pass away.

_It's just a dream, just a horrible, bloody dream…_

"Wow." A girl's voice rings through the room as she whistles. "Nice room you got here." I groan.

"I don't appreciate sarcasm miss-" A pause, as I try to match the voice to a face. "Who are you!" My head comes up with no matches. A stranger, a stranger in my piss poor home! I scan the room, searching for any uninvited guests. "…where are you…?"

"Heh." Right in front of my eyes a woman appears, as if always having been there. She smiles, and the scent of expensive alcohol finally reaches my nose. Which doesn't make much sense, because the girl's face shows that she's not a day over twenty. Where would a twenty year old get the money for fine wines? Her hair is shoulder length, an autumn brown. The wears a pair of circular reading glasses along with a grey New York hoodie, as if picked up from a stand on the streets below. It does not fit well, not only clashing with her glasses, but being a size too large for her. Well, a size too large everywhere save for her chest, speaking purely factually, her breasts are above average in size; with a smaller hoodie this would only be more apparent. And with how the people on the street are in this day and age, I don't blame her. "Just a visitor from Sado, that's all." Of course she's a tourist, one could read it on her alcohol stained lips. But Sado… that doesn't sound western at all… "So, who are you?" She grins widely, as if already knowing the answer.

"Jack Spring, it's listed on my door. Did you come in through the window?" I examine my foreign guest, trying to detect any hostility or dishonesty from her. Oddly enough, I don't sense any at all. I shiver in fright, baffled by this woman, or should I refer to her as a child?

"Got a smart one here, don't we." She snickers, leaning against my bedside table.

"So, did you knock over my plants, or did you hop over them?" Outside my window, on the windowsill, I grow tomatoes. Fresh produce in the city is hard enough to find nowadays, and even if they grow in the presence of gas in the air they still taste better than the ones at the corner stores.

"Hopped over them, hope you don't mind I ate one while you were sleeping, you're a good gardener, you know that?"

"I'm good at a lot of things." I struggle to pull my body out of bed but find myself far too exhausted to do much more than stay sitting up. "So, Miss Sado, what are you doing here?" She simply puts one hand onto my forehead.

"My my, that was some bad dream you were having, are you sure you're alright?" She pushes my hair back, her hand warm to the touch, examining my face. Out of the reflection in her glasses I see my face, pale and slightly shaking.

"A-answer my question." I stutter out, trying to muster my strength. She uses her hand to push my head back down with force one wouldn't expect. I try to get up, but she puts the same hand on top of my neck and sits on the edge of the bed.

"I came here to give you that dream, wasn't it obvious?" Looking up at her face I can just make out the edge of her smile by her ears. She just sits there, rubbing my throat until the lump in my throat dissipates.

"And just how would you have done that?" I grab her wrist with a shaky hand, but find myself unable to move her arm in the slightest. An invisible force pushes me further into my futon from above, while she simply smiles; picks her hand off my neck, pulling my shaky hand with it, setting my hand down onto the bed, and patting it twice.

"I'm an illusionist my dear." _I-Illusionist? Y-You're kidding me right?_

"Like one of those magicians that perform from 7-9 on weekends?" She laughs.

"No. Let me explain with something you know. So, what's your job, the rent must not pay itself, because that would be _real_ magic."

_!_

My body tenses up, but I stop shaking out of sheer willpower, willpower and fear. _J-just how much does this girl know!?_

"I am a professional Miss Sado." I speak clearly and sternly, putting on a strong front. The reality of the situation is, I had a bad dream and _can't move _because of it. Then this woman comes along _out of nowhere, _claiming to know of my dream, claiming _she _gave it to me. She may or may not know too much, and in this situation she could kill me, if she so wanted to.

"Is that what they call thieving rats around here?" She stands up, leaning over me, looking me in the eyes. Again, factually speaking, her breasts hover over my chest, and if I turn my eyes away from hers I'd be looking right at the things. And, if experience has taught me anything, this woman is trying to bait me just so she can smack me in the face. So, I continue to look into her eyes. They are shimmering brown pools, one of a kind soul and a healthy mind. I focus as much as I can on my response.

"Yes."

"Or are we talking about your other job?" She ends her sentence with a smile, a wave of alcohol pouring over me. _She knows too much, she knows far, far too much!_

"W-what will it take to keep you quiet?" She giggles, getting up and walking away from my bed. She looks out the window and picks a ripened tomato from the windowsill.

"Relax, I'm still explaining to you what an illusionist is, and that I am one." She takes a large bite out of the tomato, grinning with a seed between two of her teeth. "Now, comparatively, you know how a 'magician' is almost a thief?" I glare. _She's making some negative comments about my profession…_

"They are not even close. Sure the basics are there, but there is a large gap between the two."

"The gap between a thief and an illusionist is much, much larger." As if by magic, a large raccoon's tail appears behind her, wider than her head. She spins around, and I see that it is protruding from a pair of new blue jeans, a hole cut in the rough material.

"…What about a phantom thief?" She sits back on the edge of the bed, resting her tail on my stomach. Surprisingly, it has weight to it, a lot of weight.

"Well, a phantom thief would probably be on par with a weak illusionist, but I am a _grand _illusionist, if you catch my drift."

"I don't quite follow." She smiles.

"The end of my tail is much larger than the hole in these jeans. How could I possibly have put these jeans on then?" …It's true, the jeans are fairly new, the only variance being the hole that her tail couldn't possibly have fit through.

"…You lost me Miss Sado, please explain."

"Simple Mr. Spring. I'm not wearing pants." After trying to keep a tough front on for a good fifteen minutes, ignoring any deliberate sexual tension meant to slip me up, I crack. Blood rushes to my face, restoring more than enough color, causing me to blush quite furiously. "Would you like me t-"

"No no! Please, keep the illusion active. I believe you!" Thankfully, she does as I plead, snickering to herself.

"Quite honestly, I'm much better at transformations, illusions of the mind aren't really my specialty, but you know; I'm good at a lot of things." She gets up from the bed again, a girl who can't seem to sit down, but I believe it's because the alcohol on her breath is beginning to wane. She wants a drink.

"There's some wine hidden in a hole in the wall, you can help yourself if you want…" I groan, having to give up my good wine for answers. I groan again as I see her pull the bottle out _from behind her _with a wide grin, two wine glasses appearing on the table.

"Thank you Mr. Spring, let us talk over a few glasses." She pours one glass, and begins to pour the second.

"None for me, I'm underage, no thanks." I feel the need to say no, not once, but twice, so that this girl will actually listen. She does not even hesitate for a moment in pouring the wine.

"Really? How old do you think you are?" She smiles, having filled both glasses.

"Seventeen." She gulps down the first glass, refilling it almost immediately.

"Oh, I know you know that. But how old _are _you?"

"I'm seventeen. And before you ask 'isn't that too young to be a criminal,' no, it isn't. There is never a young enough age to be broke on the street." I frown, and for the first time, so does she. "Hey, no pit-" She interrupts me with a wide smile.

"You have much to learn 'young' Jack, for your spring is just beginning." There is a large pause, where neither of us move.

"Miss Sado, you're drunk."

"Yes I am. And you have wine that you don't drink but live alone. Explain."

"It's for compa-" Before I can close my mouth, she tilts my head back and pours the second glass down my throat.

"That's the best explanation I've heard in a while." She smiles as I find the strength to sit up and cough into my palms.

"Alright!" My patience at its end, I start to raise my voice. "I can see you're mystical and insane, the two going together like sugar and tea. But _why _are you here, and _why _did you give me that _horrid _dream?" She stares as I simply huff and puff, out of breath. Another pause, and then Miss Sado pushes my head back against my pillows.

"I'm just here to make sure you're ready when chaos ensues to drop everything, and that you don't die so easily." She pulls her head in front of mine and smiles.

"But why did the dream have to be so horrible!" She shrugs.

"I dunno." She puts her hand to my head, looking genuinely worried. "That spell was made in the first place to help a weary magician sleep, when he found his body unable to do so naturally. The much more common variant was made to give someone nightmares, a prophetic dream of their fate. Naturally, as Karma and Dharma dictates, the more horrid a person is, the more horrid their fate, and the more horrid the dream." …So I'm a horrible person, huh? Well Karma, I don't blame you.

"So, why me?" She gets up, and goes over to the window again.

"Can't really say right now, just keep your eyes open Mr. Spring, and you'll learn there's so much in this world that you can't see. Or at least, have failed to notice." She looks out the window. "I really must be going now, you won't see me for a while, so I have a parting gift." She extends a hand towards me and a bright white orb of light flies into my chest like a rocket. Oddly enough, I feel no different. I look towards my chest, seeing nothing different, but when I look up the girl is already gone. I sigh and throw the covers off me. I slowly wheel my legs off the bed and ease myself off the futon. Then, as if I should have expected it, my chest burns from the inside out, my muscles freeze up, and I collapse onto the creaking wood floor. I groan, unable to move, curled up on the ground. I spot my ankles, and realize that the skin on them had been burned- melted off. They have stopped bleeding, but I guess I'm going to have to wash my sheets.

Because my legs were bleeding. Why else?

* * *

**Later…**

I still remember that day, mostly because I had made an announcement that I would steal something the day afterwards, and I had go out and call it off without getting caught, while barely able to move. I also remember getting a cold from laying on the ground for a good three hours, my body becoming even more limber, and that my tomato crop; if I could call that small windowsill a farm, had been sweeter in years to come. I still haven't seen Miss Sado since, but one thing, amongst all the other thing I had noticed, is that something was wrong with my body.

It's been thirteen years, and my body hasn't aged a day.


	2. 2 - Land of Illusions

_Chapter Two: Land of Illusions_

POV: Narrator

Elsewhere, a world and a half away from the busy city of New York, there lies a land of fantasy and illusion. Even surrounded by a triple-ply spiritual barrier, the sun shines through the shimmering blue sky, the whole notion of 'nature' and respect for it forgotten by the rest of the world years ago and picked up here, naturally. Even the night is beautiful, the moonlight strong enough to illuminate every aspect of nature.

Fighting for dominance/territory:

"Danmaku swarm!"

_Graze! _

"Master Spark!"

_Fwooosh! _

"I-I-Icicle Fa-"

"MASTER SPARK!"

_Pichun~!_

Intimidating/Impressing those of the opposite/same gender with grand displays of power/beauty:

"The cherry blossoms of the Netherworld are beautiful this time of year."

"To kill gracefully under the scarlet moonlight with you would be an honor milady."

"Oh, the world of Dharma is filled with light."

"Master Spark!"

_Pichun~! (x4!)_

Mating:

"Are you sure this will work? I mean, I'm human, and you're-"

"Youkai? It's been done befor-"

"You're an umbrella!"

"…So?"

Hunting:

"Alright boys, Youkai hunting! Huzzah!"

"Huzz-"

"Is that so~?"

_Crunch! _

"My arm!"

_Nom. _

"Billy, Nooooooooooo!"

"Mmm…. Billy…."

Regional Traditions:

"Sakuya? Why does Remi-nee always drink tea with the Red-White-San?" "

Well, Flandre, Red-White-San doesn't like blood, and it it's not tea around her then it's _sa-" _

_Crash! _

"_Sake! _Raymoo, where's the _sake!"_

Yes, Gensokyo is a land of nature, and a haven for youkai distasteful of an industrialized world. In such a place youkai run rampant, with the strong ones trampling over the bodies of others. Youkai are selfish beings of nature and impulse, being a nuisance in most parts of the world. But, there is one they fear. Her family name is the same as her shrine's, Hakurei Reimu.

"Aah-achtoo!" Reimu sneezes, sitting on the porch of her shrine. The sun is shining, the youkai are chirping, the oni is sleeping, and the three mischievous fairies are being mischievous. Reimu sniffles, looking up at the sky. "Someone's narrating me again…" On her face is a sad frown, her intuition too good for her own sake. As Reimu starts the day, this narrator's going to take a break, maybe reinforce the fourth wall a bit. …With steel.

* * *

POV: Hakurei Reimu

It's been a nice day. Things have been quiet, the fairies are being stupid but they're harmless, Sukia's drunk but she's at peace, underneath the porch, at peace with her _sake_; drunkenly dreaming of getting drunk. The snores and giggles mesh into the background, the rustling of the forest youkai, the howl of a hunter, and the warm hum of danmaku. Nothing has really happened since the last incident a few months ago, a few spars with Suika and Remilia, but it's been real tame. Everything _was _going far too nicely, _and now someone's gone and started narrating!_

I get up from the porch and walk into the shrine. Shivering; I gather my ofuda, spell cards, and gohei. _This means horrible, horrible things will happen. _I look at my wooden wand, double checking if its study enough to give a few whacks, and look over my spell cards, making sure no one's replaced them with the nineball's cards. My ofuda are, of course, handmade, but I take no chances. And, sure enough, I pick out one of Sukia's 'grocery lists,' which; like all the rest, consists one word. I throw the fake charm away, knowing that some form of misfortune would affect the user. _Bad things are going to happen. _I walk to the pond behind the shrine, the water shimmering with pristine grace. _At least, to me! _I gaze into the deep pool, clenching a spell card, crumpling the mass of spiritual power. _Everything bad will either affect me in some way, or I will have to fix it! And then, when I point it out, everyone will shrug it off like it's nothing! _Without any restraint or regret I jump into the pool, sinking down past the bottom of the pond.

"Huhn-nyan?" A confused cat's meow rings out and I land in a modern, western styled living room. The nekomata, wearing a new red scarf, is laying on a couch, twin tails waving back and forth as she basks under a heat lamp. This lamp is the closest thing to a sunbeam in this horrid dimension, outside the window there only lies eyes and empty space, a light-less, faithless land. Chen, seeing that I have entered the room, dripping wet, changes to more closely resemble a human and take up most of the space on the couch, and the entire ray of light. "Oh… morning Reimu," she yawns, "Wha-"

"Yukari!" I shout out, cutting the cat off and causing both her tails to stand straight up in surprise. From above a dark purple towel falls on my head, and I catch a yawn floating through the gap as it closes. I sigh. _Why does she have the gap to her home in a pond of all places… _I start to dry myself off, re-positioning the nekomata's lamp to warm up in the 'sun.' Chen grinds her teeth in a smile while we both wait. Soon enough, a purple gap opens up, ribbons and all, and a sicken-ly sweet voice drawls out of it.

"Whaaaat….. issss….. itt….." The gap moans to me.

"What are you planning Yukari!" From my yelling, Chen jumps upward, clinging to the ceiling, while the gap seems to waver, to shudder.

"Nuth….hin'…" I throw several ofuda into the gap, and it falls silent for a moment.

"…I don't think you should have done that Reimu…" Chen pipes up, hopping down onto her heat lamp before wheeling it away. The squeaky wheels roll along the ground, piercing the silence. Then, Chen and I just stare into the gap silently.

"Graaaaah!" A scream comes from upstairs, also being projected through the gap. Several crashes ring out, along with the sound of something thudding against the floor. Another moment passes. "Good mornin'… Reimu…" Yukari slides out of the gap effortlessly. And by effortlessly, I mean _not even trying, _she has all the grace of Wriggle Nightbug as she drops down from the gap and onto the floor, headfirst. She slithers across the ground, almost ooze like, snaking her way over to the spot marked by Chen's sunbeam. Not willing to be evicted from her lamp again, Chen transforms back into her animal form, settling down in Yukari's lap as her master pulls herself upright.

"It's been one right?! A good morning. Too good! What are you planning?" I should at the youkai, she blinks and rubs her eyes.

"Told ya… nothin' really…" Yukari yawns, stroking the back of Chen's head contentedly.

"No, you are certainly planning something, so just tell me so we can be done with it and have te-" In an instant, I find myself tumbling through a gap, landing on a soft bed, far away from Yukari.

"Mmm… Red-White-San…" And right next to a half asleep Flandre.

* * *

POV: Narrator.

Back in her own house, Yukari struggles to awake, head bobbing down, only to be pulled up by-

"Shaddap…" Yukari groans. "I'm trying to sleep." She picks up Chen and lazily tosses her onto the couch, she herself laying down on the floor.

"Yukari-shama? Who're you talking to?" Chen transforms back into her possessed form, stretching, sulking, and dearly missing her sunlamp.

"No one Chen… just get me Ran…" Chen nods, running out of the room, grumbling to herself. "I hate you, you know." Hey, I know you're just going to use me to better yourself. And that- "Oh, I'm fine with all of _that._ _Just don't wake me up in the morning." _Y-yes Ma'am. "Good. Now, where's that shikigami of mine?" …Oh, right.

And, almost instantaneously, one _kitsune _appears in the stairway, dashing down at a frantic pace. As she rounds a corner, nine fluffy golden tails follow her into the room. She runs right up to Yukari, transforming into something that resembles a human mid dash, save for the large ears, traces of whiskers, and nine fluffy golden tails. Wiping the traces of blood from her nose, she reaches up with her other hand, turning off the grand heat lamp, mumbling something to herself. Without skipping a beat, she spins around Yukari, pulling out a brush, sturdier than the one she uses for her tails; and starts to brush Yukari's bedhead away.

"Ran…" Yukari closes her eyes, her voice sweet and appreciative, if I must say so myself. Ran continues to brush, throwing the brush back when she finishes, beginning to massage Yukari's shoulders.

"She works too hard..." As she massages, her mumbling becomes louder. "She needs her sleep, or else she will cease to function properly…"

"Ran…" Yukari sweatdrops, beginning to shake, flustered. "Come on, this isn't why I called you…" Finished with the massage, Ran places her hand firmly on Yukari's back, pressing hard to straighten her master's back.

"Straight up… hands clasped together, wrinkle-less face, flawless skin… flowing hair… exotic outfits… the image she works too hard to present… I must help her, by allowing her to sleep… yeah… sleep sounds nice… maybe just five minutes…" Through squinted eyes, the _kitsune _sleeps, drooling slightly, driven by sheer willpower.

"Ran!" Yukari, now sporting three anger veins on her forehead, shouts, and her shikigami immediately wakes up, in the process of sleep-changing her master's clothes.

"Hmm!" All nine of Ran's tails stick straight up, and her eyes open in surprise. "S-sorry master, I must have dozed off, it won't happen agai-"

"Of course it will." Says Yukari, calmly, as she puts on the outfit she was saving for the next incident. A dark violet dress that drapes around her figure loosely, it could easily double as a nightgown. "But you'll get your break later. Tell me Ran." Yukari yawns. "Just what was I planning again?"

"Huh? Which plan master? The one with the lunarians? The prospective immigrants? The hell raven? Th-"

"The second one!" Yukari shouts out, pointing at an idea with a closed fan. "Yes… the second one… how has the plan been going along?" Yukari, being the high-class youkai that she is, almost never gets her hands dirty, leaving the execution of most of her plans to her many shikigami. When Yukari does have to get involved, however, she tries to be discreet about it, keeping her hands clean. Wearing gloves also helps, but she usually disconnects herself anyway, leaving records-keeping to Ran.

"Well, at the moment Gensokyo's human population is slightly below the natural equilibrium, so the next spiriting away should help to maintain the balance…"

"What of the more interesting ones Ran? Where do they come into play?" Yukari kindly asks, glaring at her fox, eyes unwavering, not even stopping to blink.

"We have a surplus of any humans and half-breeds who may be of physical or magical worth, but because they have worth they also may tip the balance unfavorably... so we can only bring one here at a time, this results in the mass wait-listing of immigrants."

"Oh, but why not stir the pot a bit, send them all here?" Unsure of whether Yukari is serious or not, all the fur on Ran's body stands upward in fright. "Kidding, kidding~. But… I have a feeling something is amiss… just… something~." Yukari smiles knowingly, hiding her grin behind a small fan. "I may need a scapegoat… or is something wrong with the plan itself?" Ran mutters something under her breath before coughing.

"Well, one of the potential pawns seems to have become… suspicious, and is looking around for answers."

"Oh~?" Yukari brings her fan down, and the smile on her face tells Ran everything she needs to know about her master's intentions.

"Yukari, with all due respect, I recommend just cutting the fool off, take someone else instea-" Ran pleads, but Yukari pays no mind.

"Which one is this?"

"The one in New York…" All of Ran's tails seem to droop down, already knowing where this is going.

"Which one in New York~?"

"The thief boy…"

"And why exactly should I worry? He won't find the answers unless I do intervene~."

"Well, there is a high chance he could die." Yukari sighs.

"I don't have any rivals who know of my 'immigration program.' Especially not in the outside world. You worry too mu-"

"Death by his own hand. Mental strain, desperation, lack of answers… by human logic, suicide is the answer." Ran shrugs. "I don't get why you find humans so interesting…"

"It's _because _of their strange logic Ran deary… now, if he does end his own life, and all of my eff-"

"_My _effort…"

"Will have gone to waste." Yukari begins to pace. "How much work have I put into this kid specifically Ran?"

"_I've_ put in a couple of days every few years." Yukari waves her hand.

"What makes you give him the special treatment?"

"You said he was the reincarnation of one of your old friends from the pa- newer friends who sadly died young."

"Which one?" Yukari asks, folding her fan.

"You wouldn't say." Yukari pauses in thought.

"Oh!"

"Mistress?"

"I slept through breakfast!" Ran trips on her 7th tail. "Ran, could you cook something for me please~?"

"I'd rather you make a decision before you forget…" Ran slowly pushes herself up.

"What are the boy's stats?"

"Detailed, or abridge-"

"Abridged, hurry it up already… I want breakfast…" Yukari whines.

"Jack Spring, 5,8,9,4,6,3,2,7,7,3,5,6,3,5,2,7,1,7." Ran rolls off numbers faster than any computer, already walking into the kitchen.

"Not very well rounded, is he?" Yukari ponders. Ran pulls out a fresh egg from a gap.

"As well rounded as our breakfast. Goes around with a mask of competency, but is just a mess underneath that."

"Exactly, now Ran, fry the egg in a complete, perfect circle." Yukari demands, staring at the frying pan.

"…Why exactly?" Ran sweatdrops.

"Because if one can shape an egg, one can sh- train a pawn."

"One can also scramble said pawn…" And with that, Yukari got her long awaited breakfast as always. It was delicious.

* * *

POV: Reimu Hakurei

"…And that's why I was sleeping with Flandre." I conclude, a long and tedious story that would have ended much sooner if I said 'Yukari is fooling around again.'

"Alright Reimu, just be careful, after what Marisa told her she's gotten really attached to visitors." Sakuya says, standing behind her mistress. Remilia and I sit down at a round table, made of steel woven into intricate designs. Sakuya holds a parasol over Remilia's head, because sitting on the balcony in broad daylight is not good for her master's skin. Remilia sips tea, staring through me, as if into my soul. I, quite frankly, do not trust the tea I'm served. But, in all honesty, thirst and blood loss are more pressing matters. I sip tea slowly, rubbing my neck with my other hand.

"Something tells me you're worried about something… bigger than that bite." Remila gives a small smile, eyes glowing a dull red. "Tell me, what's bothering you, hmm?" Whether it be precognition of fate, irregular heartbeats, or simply being used to chaos; Remilia Scarlet can usually tell if something is amiss. It goes doubly if she causes it.

"Yes… something's gone terribly wrong…" I look away, avoiding her piercing eyes. "I fear that something in Gensokyo that will threaten its balance."

"Well then, shouldn't you be flying about, suplexing any youkai that happens to be flying by? I'll even have Sakuya here prepare the tea!" Remilia's smile turns into a flashy grin, flipping her thumb towards the maid. She laughs, and her dull stare is instantly filled with childish energy.

"Of course mistress." Sakuya nods, sweatdropping.

"Oh, I will. But in the event that I become incapacitated, or becoming too weak to resolve the incident, something of that nature, can I count on you, or at least Sakuya, to help keep peace?" Sakuya freezes time for a moment, probably to hide something stupid her master was about to do. When time does resume,

"Yes, well…" Remilia rubs her chin, flashing her fangs. "I honestly don't think that would happen." She interlocks her fingers, resting her chin on the bridge formed. "Why would you?" Her smile has turned curious, her maid listening intently, eager.

"I told you." I get up, vaulting over the balcony wall. I sit on the edge for a moment, looking out at Gensokyo, fairies and danmaku flying through the air in all directions. I sigh. "I've got a bad feeling about this." I hop off, halting my decent a few inches above the ground. I slowly touch down, walking out the gate for manners.

"Reimu!" Remilia shouts, and I spin around, looking at her. Her claws are curled around the stone banister, sizzling in the sunlight. She coughs, avoiding my cold stare. "Are you not going to finish lunch?" She smiles.

"I must be off, like you said, I should be exterminating youkai. May I have a doggy bag please?" She gives a slight indication of a frown, barely unnoticeable from here. Nigh instantaneously, a brown paper bag flies from the balcony, and I catch it before walking out, waving goodbye to a sleeping Meiling.

_I'm prepared. Even if I am to fall, Remilia will come in, probably when the opponent is weak, and save the day. …Never thought I'd say that. Hopefully, in a deal with the devil, she at least holds her end of the bargain. I have the feeling that she'd just take advantage of any weakness I may have, and just try to spread her influence. That's also good, because then Yukari would shut her down like she did when she first arrived in Gensokyo, halting Yukari's own plans. I just hope everything works out alright._

_ …I need a vacation._

* * *

POV: Narrator.

Meanwhile, some other place in Gensokyo, three fairies feel chills run through their spines. The three were spending their time hunting for treasure in Marisa Kirisame's house but instead stand frozen.

"D-did you feel that Sunny?" Luna's wings quiver and she drops three large books she was planning on carrying out.

"Feel what?" Star blinks, eyes turning to a dull blue for a moment. "No one's nearby," she blinks again, her eyes returning to normal, "don't worry, I won't run off without telling you two, I promise."

"No, something else, something in the air…" Luna sits down on a pile of junk, looking out a window covered with dust.

"I don't feel anything!" Sunny doesn't even turn around, holding a bright red potion up to a sunbeam.

"It feels like it did when all those divine spirits were let loose... when the sky turned red…" Luna rubs her chin.

"An incident?" Star ponders this. "Yeah, it does feel kinda like that… maybe one's gonna occur…"

"OI!" Sunny throws her arms up, spinning around. "How about we show those humans what fairies are capable of! Gather every fairy across Gensokyo, swarm th- you two listening to me?" The two other fairies have their eyes looking to the ceiling in shock. Sunny traces their gazes to see the bright red potion, flying through the air.

"Sunny you idiot!" Luna shouts. Star's already heading for the door. Sunny dives for where the potion would land. The potion hits the ceiling, glowing brightly. Then, it-

_**FWOOOSH!**_

Marisa's house has been destroyed.

* * *

**Meanwhile… elsewhere…**

Once again, the wandering tanuki from Sado sighs, drinking in the shadows of the temple. It's become a habit of hers lately, ever since she came to Gensokyo. "Hey, Mami?" Nue pokes the side of the drinking woman's face. It started with the same Nue, she asked Mamizou to come to Gensokyo as a trump card against the Taoists. Mamizou had sighed then, with a smile on her face and a knapsack on her back, and; after taking a swig of sake, came to the aid of her dear friend. Mamizou had sighed once more not even a day later, when a local heroine had already resolved the incident. She took a drink and said 'to heck with it,' in her head, deciding that she had to fight _somebody._ "Mamizou, you alright?" Nue continues to pester her friend, who pays her no mind and sighs. She had sighed and drank when she recalled all the projects she left behind in the outside world, had sighed and drank when Hijiri 'berated' her for drinking on temple ground in full view of the humans, had sighed and drank when Hijiri started crying and apologizing for 'berating' her, had sighed and drank when she tried to recruit some of the locals to join the youkai forces; they were all too carefree and scared of one 'Yukari Yakumo.' "Mamizou, come on, I know it's you…" And again Mamizou sighed and drank when she met up with this youkai, whose name was spoken in whispers all around the globe. And again when she lost to her, and again when she fought her fox. "MAMIZOU!"

"Huh? What?" Mamizou blinks, seeing Nue riding one of the five fluffy tanuki, all staring at herself. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

"Yeah, you look all gloomy!" Nue pokes Mamizou once with her trident. "Come on, what's wrong Mami…"

"Nothing, I just thought the youkai forces would be doing something… or that there would be some youkai forces…" She sighs and takes a drink.

"Hey, come on, I know you came to be an ally with the youkai forces…" Nue twiddles her thumbs, "And things have been sorta slow… but you know, you could lead them instead."

"And who would want to be led by a drunken illusionist? Hmm? I'm no oni, I can't look valiant while drunk. If I lead I can't transform, and if I transform I can't lead. You know that as well as I, Nue."

"And if you weren't a good leader then why would these little tanuki follow you all the way from Sado, hmm?" Nue scratches the one she's riding, who yips contently.

"OHAYOU GOZAIMASU!" From the other end of the room, the part bathed in light, Kyouko stands, waving to the group in the shadows.

"Listen Mami." Nue leans in close, and grabs her friend's collar. "You and I both know that something is going to happen. It's a perfect chance to show what youkai can really do, especially to those racist Taoists. All the youkai need is a leader. You already have plenty of shikigami… are you going to lose out to that Gap Hag and her mangy mutt in terms of leadership?" Nue, trying to avoid the word 'fox,' feels a soft hand on her head, and has her hair ruffled.

"Oh Nue… you're hopeless…" Mamizou sighs and takes a drink. "Let's do it." She smiles, and so does Nue, both smiles wide and bright enough to stand out in the shadows.

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU TWO WHISPERING ABOUT OVER THERE?"

"Inside voice Kyouko!/Inside voice Kyouko!" The both shout out in response.

* * *

**Elsewhere still…**

"Youmuuuuuuuuu!"

"Coming mistress!" Youmu quickly cuts through the garden to enter the large mansion. She charges through three rooms, nearly slipping on the freshly waxed floor, and slides to Yuyuko's side. "I'm sorry, there was a huge line at the store, and everyone wanted thes-"

"Youmu, stop." Yuyuko calmly places her hand on Youmu's head, and spins it around so she can see the multiple ghosts dancing around the mansion's ground. "Look, isn't it beautiful? The spirits' dance?"

"Y-yes, mistress, it's very pretty, but are you alright?" Youmu turns her head back to look at Yuyuko's, while the mistress of the dead turns Youmu's head back to look at the spirits.

"Yes, I'm _fine _Youmu." She smiles, ruffling the young girl's hair. Then, all of a sudden, she finds herself ruffling nothing but air. "…Youmu?" She tilts her head in confusion.

"Yes mistress?" Comes a shout from the mansion.

"Come out here Youmu, enjoy this with me?"

"Of course mistress, just let me make dinner real quickly." The sizzle of the flame quickly rings out from the mansion.

"Please Youmu? We could even dance if you want…"

"One moment mistress!" Yuyuko sighs.

"Youmu, get out here, this instant!" Yuyuko pouts, butterflies fly out in all directions, and near instantaneously, Youmu is at Yuyuko's side.

"Y-yes mistress?" Youmu shivers as Yuyuko's hand is slowly placed on her head.

"Fufufu…" Yuyuko idly ruffles her gardener's hair as she sits down with a content smile on her face. Youmu sits down as well, and the two stare at the glorious display of will-o-wisps circling around each other. Soon enough… "So, Youmu, shall we dance?"

"Mistress, the meal will be burnt-"

"Come on Youmu, dance with me while everything is nice and peaceful…" Yuyuko gets up, smiling.

"Nice and… Yuyuko-sama, is Yukari planning something again?" Youmu gets up, but she starts to back away.

"N-no! W-well, yes, bu-" And in an instant, Youmu has gone back into the mansion.

"I'll be sharpening my swords then! Be careful mistres- AH! THE CHICKEN!" As the mansion fills with smoke and Youmu hustles to clean everything up Yuyuko sighs. The ghosts quickly disperse, and Yuyuko is left to sit on the porch, staring at the bare Saigyou Ayakashi.

"…Happy Birthday Youmu…"

* * *

**Somewhere else entirely...**

POV: ?

"Gensokyo, the land of the lost… once something is forgotten, it will end up here. Let them come and be forgotten by the world! Yes… let them come… nothing ever goes wrong… for if it does… it never existed… because once something is forgotten here… it has nowhere left to go…" Laughter rings out.

…

_ …I love my job._

* * *

POV: Yukari Yakumo

"But mistress, how will we bring Jack Spring here without raising suspicions?" Ran asks, washing the dishes.

"Simple, get some of the locals to fight for you. In the case of a criminal, well, it is elementary." I smile, laying back in a recliner chair.

"He's got a lawyer, the charges won't stick." She walks over to me.

"Oh, even if they do, I'm sure you'll think of something." I smile.

"I thought I was going to get a break."

"…Alright, fine, here's what you're going to do."

"I still don't see the _break_ in this."


	3. 3 - The Strange Case of Jack Spring

A/N: This is an extensive OC backstory chapter. If such a thing does not interest you, please scroll down to the very end of the chapter and pick up any tidbits you would have missed via bullet points. Since I'm guessing saying 'Read and Review' would be contradictory with the previous statements, I'll just ask that you enjoy yourselves. Thank you.

_Chapter Three: The Strange Case of Jack Spring._

POV: Jack Spring

You ever had one of those days when you remembered something important, couldn't put off thinking about it till later, and realized that one thought would plague your mind for the rest of the day?

_ Today… is going to be a bad day…_

Looking into the cracked mirror I can see that my face still hasn't changed at all. No wrinkles, no grey hairs, heh, I should be celebrating. But I digress, stubble had formed, so I lazily pull out my Swiss army knife from my pocket. Pairing the blade with some shaving cream I remove any unsightly stubble from my face. I stare at my reflection and, quite honestly, I might as well call myself Babyface. I mean, I've looked seventeen for thirteen years, everyone in the business _should_ see that too. And yet, for thirteen years, they've all referred to me as 'kid' or 'rookie.' They don't even realize how long I've been there, they don't remember. The worst, and most awkward, case is with newbies, eager boys who want to join the trade. The first year they all refer to me as a superior and then, suddenly, they go to treating me like a child. If they didn't realize I haven't changed for a good thirteen years, this is where it gets good, the joke I've played on myself. It's hilarious!

...If they didn't realize, does that mean I couldn't have realized either? Could I have ignored it for many more years? Am I thirty, could I be fifty? The obvious solution would be to simply call my parents, to ask them after all these years. But, that's when the joke turns sour. My whole body would become overcome with fear, a sense of dread washing over me. I can't dial the number, out of fear that I am _right. _What if nobody ever picks up, or what if _somebody _else picks up.

"Dammit Jack." I berate myself; or does my reflection berate me? "Stop worrying so much, you've got to work both your jobs tonight, then you can brood around this hellhole of a closet _and _your rent will be paid!" I groan. My reflection is right, I'm going to be busy tonight, and I have an image to keep up. After all, I am an 'inexperienced rookie,' only judged by how he looks; and more importantly, how he performs.

So, I wash off any residue left by the cream, cusping my hands to create a pool of grimy water which I splash over my face. I run my damp hands through my hair, a raven black hood grown over thirteen years to remind me that thirteen years _have _in face passed. I tie my hair back in a loose ponytail and plop a bowler hat onto my head. Dated, maybe. But it gives a memorable image that sticks. And when a man is judged by how he looks, when people know you for what you wear, being able to change your identity by changing outfits is quite a trick.

Then, quite obviously, it's best to put on one's suit. In New York City it seems that everyone has a suit. Some are cheaper, some are grander, some are worn down, quite a few look alike. My suits are special in that I can conceal any and every tool needed to perform my jobs. I rummage through a small chest hidden under the floorboards and slowly arm myself with everything I may or may not need. Knives, little black book, sewing kit, lucky charm, two decks of cards, and much, much more. Just like any other morning.

I look into the mirror, one last time. I see a boy, dressed up in a suit to look intelligent. I see a coward, who's trying too hard to look intimidating. That's what the world will see me as, and has seen me as for at least thirteen years. _But that's not what I am. _I turn away and begin to hurry down the creaking stairways. _I am, simply put, at least thirty, I know I have been alive for at least that long, and my memory has faded for anything past seventeen years ago._

"Do you know what that means?" I laugh to myself as I slide down the spiral railing, passing my landlady and holding my hat down with one hand. "It means, in four years I'll forget all about Miss Sado!" I dash out onto the street, looking dearly for some of my dear clients. "I'd forget everything, I'd close my eyes, I'd cut my hair, I'd live my life as I did the day before _without questioning a thing."_

In a haze I go to the apartment of my first client. I ring the doorbell, he opens the door. He knows this face, he knows this man wants his protection money. This man went out as a bag man for a protection racket countless years ago as a day job. This man always gave empty threats. Some men refused to pay this man, knowing the threats were false. Well then, when one's payments are far overdue, this man simply steals from the offenders, taking a little extra for himself, no trace he was ever there save for the lack of money and his good word. This man has always claimed that it's no use to resist, and it's just best to give this man the money so he could go home. This man needs to collect from him, or else those backing this man would question this man.

The bystander, he just stands, watching this man ramble on with an unnatural smile. "And then I'll live forever in my ratty apartment, and continue to grow tomatoes for all time to come…" On good days, the bystander could simply talk with that man, even go out for lunch. Such was the benefit of giving that man the money outright, not making that man have to work for it. But on bad days, or if you made that man have to work for his money, he harasses you like any other bag man. The bystander, realizing that it is not that man's best day, tipped that man for robbing him by doing absolutely nothing. The man simply bows, and apologizes for his delirium. "I have a quota to make, and I get no sick days!" That man would claim, poking his hat upward.

That man is not me. Sure, he has a brilliant racket going on, but that man, quite frankly, sickens me. That man only serves to do my day job. I love the people I work with, the people I rob. But, I hate the job, and I hate doing it. Thankfully, I need to work two jobs to afford to live in a rat cage stamped with the label of 'NYC.' I love the economy.

* * *

After completing his rounds that man simply dies, and Jack Spring truly comes out. The irony of it all is that for the job I love to do, and love doing it, I must hide my face; never give a name. Oh well, it's the dream job. It started out small, way before I met Miss Sado, and it, well, grew on me. As time passed on, I just got better and better, yet... I feel strangled, like that little flower had changed to vines, all surrounding me, tugging at me. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but every time I try to quit... it just calls back to me. And since I like the jo- hold on. I'm hesitating again.

_**Crash!**_

Alarms blare around me, red lights flash from all around me, and I hold up the prized Ruby of Justice, with a pearl necklace added, free of charge. "Ahh, you'd think rich folk would hold valuables in something other than a glass ca- ah, hold on…" I look closer, examining the Ruby of Justice. Except I don't. "Aaaooooo… It's a fake! Come all the way over here to-" Suddenly, the alarm lights fade back to the normal fluorescent light, and a bundle of 'New York's Finest' come out from the only doorway, holding pistols with harsh flashlights that threaten to hurt my delicate eyes.

"Freeze Masquerade!" They seem like rookies themselves, greenhorns, green bottomed brats. Each of them wanting to bring imaginary fame to each of their unimportant names, by ruining the livelihood of one phantom thief.

"Is _that_ what you're calling me nowadays? I don't know if I should be honored or offended." Though, it is fitting. Instead of my classic black suit, for heists like this I swap it out for a different colored one, this time a deep purple one, with a deeper purple cloak on my back. Though, I wear no hat. _Masquerade, as they call me, never wears a hat. _On my chest lies a real rose corsage, my calling card. Always inform the authorities of my crime beforehand by stopping at a flower shop, 'exchanging' one rose with a card that holds all the information the police needs to try and stop me. On my hands I wear pure silken white glove, to hide finger prints and slap people. My ponytail I undo, just for good measure, and I let my hair flow in the breeze. My suit, while not as conservative as my black one, still has enough space to accommodate any and all tools needed to steal anything, while having enough space for the loot itself. And, of course, the reason why the fools call me Masquerade must me the white mask that sits on my face, with glaring red eyes and a bright red smile painted on the outside. The mask itself covers a secondary disguise, a skin tight mask made of latex and makeup.

"Shut up, don't move! Put your hands in the air, set down the Ruby of Justice, and come quietly!" _So they don't know it's a fake…_

"Wow, redundancy and multiple contradictory statements in one order. You sure you're a rookie? You look like captain material to me!" I laugh.

"Criminals like you should be behind bars!" The same one counters while the rest nod in agreement. _One has the safety of his gun still on, that probably means that they haven't been authorized to shoot… and __she__ wants me alive._

"So what, I can leech of this country's taxpayers without doing a thing? Either way, I'm still profiting, and don't even bring up the death penalty, because I haven't hurt anyone, and that would make you a moral criminal." I smirk, putting my hands up above my head, still clutching the fake gem. _In all honesty, I don't want to go to jail. Even if it's a weak sentence like two years. The answer is obvious, with my... condition, the cops wouldn't even know a year has passed. And any, and every sentence, becomes a life sentence. But still, always act with bravado..._

"W-wha?"

"And even then, even if I'm caught, _even if I'm killed,_ my name and legacy will live on, while you'll still be a nameless nobody. Face it boy. _Crime does pay._" _Even if the situation is dire and you don't have the mettle to back it up._

"Dammit, Jonesy, cuff him!" One rookie slowly walks over to me, pulling a pair of handcuffs out from behind him.

"Sorry boys, but this is a fake!" I throw the glass down at the ground, causing it to shatter. "We're _all _being tricked!" While the cops stand in shock, I push Jonesy off to the side and run at the rest of them, ready to use my silken gloves for a purpose they were not designed to do, but one which _I _love to perform. _Simply put, if you act big enough, you'll soon have big shoes to fill. So, you'll either become great, or die trying. Win-win._

* * *

POV: San-

"Inspector Sandra?" One of the newer officers calls out to me, running downstairs and into a large foyer, where several other rookie officials lie on standby. "Ma'am, Masquerade got away, jumped out a window he did." He looks genuinely dejected, as if expecting at being positioned in the room where the thief was sure to strike was supposed to mean a guaranteed catch for him.

"Well then, I've got him right where I want him." I pat the boy on the shoulders. "Did you really think I'd entrust the safety of the gemstone with rookies like you? No offense, but I've chased him long enough to know better than stationing the best officers inside the building. He'd just steal the item and run away, even the best cops can't catch a thief if he's already gone…"

"Ma'am?" The boy stares at me in confusion.

"But it doesn't matter, I've got my best men on the streets, sorry to say, but you were only here as a distraction. It doesn't matter if he always lands on his feet, he jumped and fell into my trap. Any moment now and the radio will fill with chatter saying that he's been caught!" I look at the ceiling, almost crying, smiling all the way. "It doesn't matter if he always lands on his feet, I've got him trapped on this block, here!"

"Ma'am, he said the gemstone was fake…" He continues, looking at me with disgust, but I don't stop patting him on the back.

"Of course it was. But tell me boy, do you hear any radio chatter? Nothing at all. He must have pulled his fine silk over your eyes, no, he didn't land on the street, he flipped into the window on the floor below you! Oh, I know him well enough, he'll be looking around, at the center of the trap."

"B-but not only were we bait, but we were, the NYPD was guarding a fake?" He struggles to clear the lump in his throat, shakes his fist in rage.

"No, we are apprehending a criminal. The real one is," I unbutton my shirt, and the boy really starts to get flustered.

"M-Ma'am?" He stutters out, hands over his eyes. As he pulls two fingers apart to peek, I smack him in the face.

"Relax kid." I pull out the Ruby of Justice from between my two breasts. "It's right here. And get over yourself, I'm too old for you anyway."

"Y-yes Ma'am." He sighs, rubbing his check, looking at the ground. "S-so we caught him? A-and I helped?"

"Not just yet, it's only a matter of time, he has to make a move eventually, and when he does… he won't leave this block a free man!" I turn to look directly at the boy, and he's extending his hand.

"It's been a pleasure working with you Ma'am." He tips his cap to me. I smile.

"And you too Masquerade!" I shake the phony's hand excitedly, pulling out my handcuffs with my other hand, but before I actually cuff him I pull away from the handshake, staring at a droplet of blood pooling. He smiles, and flashes a small pin protruding from some, most likely synthetic, skin. My vision starts to blacken, and I feel all the strength in my body fade away. I collapse on the ground, and the rest of the rookies pull out their stun guns, surrounding the fake officer. One fires his stun gun, but I can easily predict a dodge from our masked friend, and the rookie probably just tazed his partner. They then realize him as a true threat, pulling out their guns, ready to shoot at a moment's notice, but unable to do so for several reasons. One is that, instead of tazing another officer, using guns around this man could prove to result in an avoidable death. The other is that they don't have the order to open fire, and with this quick-acting crap in my veins I can't even form a coherent sentence. Two officers had the normally bright idea to charge him at the same time. He simply stole one's stun gun from his pocket, kicked him back, and tazed the other. One, which I could not see, was actually relaying what was going on through the radio. He deserves a promotion.

But aside from that, the room was silent, and the room was his.

"You knew it was me! Oh inspector, you know me best, you know that~? Sorry to say, but my plan relied on you shaking hands with me. And I know you best~." He practically sings to me, plucking the ruby from my unmoving body. He places his mask and gloves back on, pulling them from under his disguise, and leans in real close to my face to flash that wide grin. "I believe that this doesn't belong to you though Miss Sandra."

"G-get away from the inspector! W-we have you surrounded!" One of the rookies, if his voice was any indication, is shaking in fear.

"But Billy, you won't shoot. You won't charge. All you can do is talk into that radio of yours, and hope you're not telling your fellow officers to do _exactly as I want._"

"Guh!"

"Though really, I am serious. It's been a pleasure working with you for all these years, but really, new recruits as a red herring? You wanting to wear precious gems as to seem more feminine to your boys?" I say nothing in response. "Alright constables, I'll walk out of this circle, give me a five second head start, and I'll be at the perfect range for you to shoot me without shooting your fellow idiot. Kay?" The boys say nothing in response. Three footsteps ring out.

"Weapons free!" I shout from the ground, my voice resolute and true. "Open fire!" The boys do just that, and Masquerade dodges for his life, now without his makeshift 'hostages.'

"Hey, that was three seconds!" He turns back to me, at the staircase, ducking under one last bullet before the entire unit needs to reload. I can almost see his playful pout through his mask.

"Yes, but either way, you'd dodge, you'd avoid a fatal wound, so many times in the past… SO COME QUIETLY ALREADY!" He, deciding this was not the best time to talk, begins to ascend the stairway. I push myself off the ground and pull myself up, shrugging off help from the rookies.

"Ma'am?" One of the officers, the same who shouted with our guest and radioed the officers below stares at me, overly concerned.

"Back off, I'm fine!" I glare at the stairway as several veterans climb up, all toting pistols. "You idiots, I never gave you the order to move up here!"

"But Miss Sandra, your office-"

"Is a fool as well! You're all doing just as he wants, he ran _up _the stairs, get back on the street now!" The veterans, thankfully smart enough not to question me, scramble down the stairway. "Now, you rookies, he's going to jump, but he _looooooves _to make an exit, so he'll wait for a group of officers to arrive on the roof. It doesn't matter who so you've been conscripted, now go, GO!" All of the rookies, save for one, the same one; clamber up the stairs, groaning the entire way to the top.

"Ma'am? Permission to-"

"Look, I know you _think _you're helping, but you're just doing as he wants, and making the NYPD look like _idiots._"

"So I _shouldn't _radio for back up in a hopeless situation? Err, Ma'am?" I breathe in and out, calming my nerves.

"No… sorry Billy… permission granted."

"Ma'am, he left his calling card." I look down and see a single bright red rose, sprouting from between my breasts. I yank it out, not caring if the thorns tear my skin a little. I hold it in my hand, crushing it, petals and all, in my palm. My hand bleeds from the several thorns. "M-Ma'am?" I bring my fist around, hitting him in the chest and sending him flying into the far wall. The wall crumbles, and I growl under my breath.

_Oh how he taunts me, how he freaking taunts taunts me!_

I pull out my radio, yelling far too loud, over the radio chatter. "Masquerade is going to jump! Officers on the ground be ready, he's going to try and escape through the buildings! Make sure the surrounding buildings are all prepped and ready!

_I will catch you… I will bring you to justice._

* * *

POV: Jac- Masquer- Spri- Thief Boy.

After running up the stairs, passing the knocked out guards, and picking up my suit from its hiding spot; I still had plenty of time to change back into my trademark outfit. _Well, one of them._

**Atchoo!**

_So why is it that the cops are taking so long…_

I sniffle, the wind blows harshly around me, standing on the ledge, fifty or so stories off the ground. My back faces the long drop, as my eyes stand deadlocked on the lone door.

One moment, the sounds of footsteps rushing up a long stairwell. Two moments, the shadows of men, scouting ahead. Three moments, the demands of officers, the aiming of guns, a thief's laughter. Four moments, the start of a grand escape, the sound of gunshots whizzing through the air.

Radio: Tokyo Ska Paradise – Black Jack

Backflipping off the roof before the bullets catch me, I spin around, looking at the ground, all those cops like ants, all those flashing lights. I freefall for at least three seconds, undoing my belt. I quickly spin again to land feet first on a wire, invisible to the naked eye. It's at a low slope, enough for me to drop down, wrap my belt around the wire, and zipline to the opposite building. The cops fire at me, but this high up their shots only graze my clothing, and I crash through a window, pulling my cape inside.

Getting up in the large apartment complex, I search frantically for someone else to disguise as. No one at all, deserted. The fire alarm goes off, spraying me with cold water for a good minute before running dry.

_No one to cover my escape, Sandra already knows the latex mask I'm wearing underneath… everything I can disguise with is soaking wet, any cop who comes up won't be… seems like the hard way is the only way out. Not quite as elegant as I would want it to be… but when a plan seems to fail, even I have a little pent up rage._

I crack my knuckles, camping out by the stairway. I punch the first cop to come up in the jaw, retreating into the hallway. Gunshots. Turn a corner. Cops follow. Wait at corner. Cop turns the corner. Disarm him. Others can't shoot, friendly fire is my best friend. Wail on him until he collapses. More cops enter. Dive into dark, empty apartment. Drip. Cops turn on flashlights. Drip. Hide and cling to ceiling corner. Drip. Cop shines light at my mask. Jump onto prey, run before others can react. Graze bullets. Pull out playing card deck, split into two. Spin and spray cards at cops. Cops flinch. Knock out three more, one, two, smile, and three. Hold up Jack of Hearts. Mask smiles with me. Bullet beheads the poor Jack of Hearts. More cops. Avenge fallen Jack. Rinse and Repeat.

* * *

POV: Sandra.

"What do you mean they're getting slaughtered?!" I glare at my radio, yelling through it. "Are you hearing this, I want reinforcements! …What do you mean more important things?!" The radio crackles with static. The police chief hung up on me! "That's it, you boys that are left watch the cars! I'm going in myself!"

I climb up the stairs, knocking up water with each footstep, passing by cops, all sleeping on the job. I enter a room where Masquerade stands amidst a crowd of bodies, all lying in pools of water. One cop remains conscious, shaking as Masquerade points a knife at his face, a surgical knife held carefully between silken gloves.

"Ah, welcome inspector, glad to see you've come to join me." Masquerade, dripping wet, smiles behind his mask, walking closer to the shaking cop. "That's good, I was worried I'd be without an audience."

"Get up you idiot, do you honestly think he has the balls to kill you!" I pull out my gun. He responds by throwing the knife at the barrel before I can aim down the sights. I grimace. Throwing my gun to the ground, I bring up my fists. His smile widens, and he brings his heel down right next to the cop's face, making a dent in the wooden floor. A knife pops up from the tip of his shoe, glimmering next to the cop's face. The cop faints.

"Like it? It's new, a grand bluff, the dream of anyone who fancies a James Bond flick… I still prefer regulate knives though, more versatile, easier to use… so may I have that knife back?" I charge at him, he charges past me, picking up his knife, kicking the gun into the corner of the room. I spin around, whipping out my handcuffs, trying to pin him to a wall.

"Go to hell!" He ducks under me, swerving around, leaving me punching the wall as I spin around to catch him. The wall easily gives way, but he punches me in the gut, staring at me, mask to face.

"We've been doing this for quite some time… every line seems to have been said… but still, I hope it never ends~." I flip him over my back, through the hole in the wall.

"What nonsense are you spitting out this time!" He gets up, coughing, waving away dust.

"I mean you're getting older." He dashes and headbutts me in the stomach. "Where did the years go~?" He sighs behind his mask. "You've gotten wrinkles… your voice has grown hoarse… grown weaker…" I jump back before springing at him, sending a barrage of swift punches at him, my vision fading. He dodges them all, and connects the heel of his shoe to my gut, sending me into a wooden door. "What are you, forty something- fifty? The years and stress haven't been good for you…" I slump down, the drug still taking its toll. "You've lost a lot of your edge…" He starts laughing wildly. "But, then again, you're still the only person around here who is constantly a threat to me! I still had to drug you, didn't I?"

"Get… back… here…" As I drift off, eyes blinking, head numbing, I see Masquerade at a window, using two knives to break it, one like a chisel, sharpened tip ready to carve away at the glass. The other, he spins around, using the small blunt end like a hammer. As the 'tails' of the knives connect… I yawn loudly… and the glass shatters.

"Goodbye, and goodnight Inspector. Better luck next time." And with that he jumps… ready to outrun three squadrons of cars… laughing the whole way… and just his luck… lightning flashes… And it starts to rain… _Now he's not the only one… in a dripping wet suit. _"Luc-ky!" With the luck of the devil, he shouts out, falling to the ground, laughing.

_…Goodnight Masquerade…_

_...Friggin' Bastard._

* * *

Radio: Off.

POV: Jack Spring.

"Huff… huh… hah…" I stand in an alleyway, soaking wet, heart pumping. I hold my mask to my face, weary of any bystanders. _I thought fighting my way out would be devastating, and test my wits… but… _"That was easy… it just gets easi- no…. I'm getting good at this, I'm really good at this!" I laugh. _Now to get to the safehouse, swap suits, and wait for the heat to die down before selling the gem… _Walking along the alley, drowning in my thoughts, I trip, mask kissing the grime. "Hey, what gives!"

I look up and see a kid, dripping wet himself, with a nigh empty cup in front of him, only a few drenched coins in it. I look over him, his sad face, his grimy appearance, and then frown behind my mask. I flip a coin into the cup and he gives me a weak, near forced smile. He knows how the world works at such a young age… people don't give jack-squat out of goodness, only to make themselves feel better. I bend down, looking at him in the eyes. Frightened, he offers a weak 'thank you…' quiet enough to be drowned out by the rain.

"Hey kid, how about a magic trick?" I say over the pouring rain, but not loud enough to draw attention from the streets. The kid gives no response. "Come on kid, I wanna show you this!"

"A-alright." He shivers, accepting only out of worry. I stare deeply, looking into his very soul until he blinks. He holds his eyes closed until he realizes that rain is no longer pouring on his head. He looks up, seeing a purple tarp over his head, rested at an angle on a trash can and stack of soggy cardboard. It's held down by two bricks from nearby buildings, and the angle would send any rainwater down towards the sidewalk. He looks at me, capeless, now shaking in unison with him. Rain soaks my hair and goes down my back, sending shivers down my spine. He gives me a genuine smile, even while covered in grime. I ruffle his hair. "T-thank you miss!"

_…I'll let him off with a warning._

"Kid, I'll have you know I'm male! But yes! A cape, fancy apparel, a blanket at night, and a tarp in the rain~! Heh heh, keep it kid, but word of advice…" I flip the same old coin back into the cup, "don't be distracted by a magic trick, lest you lose your livelihood in ignorance." He looks into the cup, where the coin lands in a small pile of several dry bills. He's left speechless. I run away, waving, finally reaching the safe house; and begin to change my clothes.

_It's alright, it's just a cape, I need a new outfit for the next heist anyway… the necklace will pay the overdue rent… as for dinner… maybe look for a fan of Masquerade? No, I already changed… tomato salad it is then… sigh… that was a nice kid…_

I hide my knives and my good luck charm, thankfully unused, in my black suit, next to my little black book. I pick up my Swiss army knife from the dresser and stuff it into my pants pocket. I tie my hair back into a ponytail after drying it to match my new outfit. Shoving the purple suit into a jar, I light a match and ignite any evidence. I keep the only needed trademark of Masquerade, the mask, hidden under my black jacket as I walk out. I left my hat at home, a trademark of 'Jack Spring,' because this apartment was rented by one of Masquerade's disguises. Of course, under my white shirt, I'm wearing the Ruby of Justice.

But only until I get home. Once inside I pick up a towel and start drying my head, while simultaneously pouring cold water from the sink onto the bowler cap. Putting the drenched cap on my comparatively dry head, I look like I've gone out with my hat on, something that Masquerade never does. I'm hiding my mask and gem under the floorboard when three furious knocks ring out from my door.

"Open up!" I know this voice, it's the inspector, Sandra. I hurriedly hide my mask underneath, but with the ruby still around my neck, I have to tuck it under my shirt. I open the door, because Sandra, being Sandra, would just break it if I didn't.

"Search warrant~?" Sandra, flanked by two cops, angrily says no, but walks in anyway, pushing me aside. I start to sweat, the cops follow as well. That means she's actually got justification. "Why are you here officers?" I ask, smiling.

"Where were you just know?" She growls at me, noting my drenched suit.

"Just doing my job." She's angry because she's failed at her's. I shouldn't anger her, but I've gotta bluff my way out of this one. _What does she know...?_

"The job that's _illegal?_" She glares at me.

"None of my _clients _have ever pressed charges." I glare back. The cops start to back up, worried about their own health.

"Connections with organized crime."

"_Suspicions _ruled not guilty by Judge Johnson. You couldn't try me for that again, double jeopardy, so why, must I ask, would you be here~?"

"To arrest you."

"On what grounds~?"

"Human trafficking."

"…I don't deal in human trafficking."

"We have a tip, and evidence." She pins me to the ground. _Hard. _I struggle to get my knife out of my pocket. She pulls it out for me, throwing it out the window. "I know a bag man like you doesn't carry any real weapons, so just come quietly!" _Oh, if only she knew…_

"I didn't do it!" Because I really didn't, I shout. Because I don't want to give her the opportunity to frisk me down, I squirm and resist, handcuff marks burning onto my wrists.

I'm thrown into the backseat of a police car, where I exercise my right to remain silent, at least; for now. I keep squirming as Sandra leads me out, she takes me into a rundown station, throwing my into a lonely, empty cell before leaving; most likely to search my apartment. …I want my lawyer.

* * *

POV: Al-

"Alan? You pick up?" The phone blurts out the shaking voice of Jack, one of my regular clients. "Please tell me it's you…"

"What's wrong Jack?" I ask, spinning around in my chair. I sit in a rather dull office, wondering why I even rent the place when all my clients just call my cell instead.

"I-I'm in prison on bogus charges, that's what!" He shouts over the phone and I hear several other, muffled voices in the background.

"Relax kid what did ,they catch you doing?" _With his two job, and the cops listening in, I have to know what he's being kept for._

"They didn't catch me doing anything! You know the kidnappings? The ones that no one can figure out? _Sandra _pinned it on Jack of all people!" _Those kidnappings? _I crack open a couple of files on the topic of the kidnappings. People disappearing out of the blue, and then people, even their own family, forgetting about them. Using my computer, I start to search for any new information on the topic.

"Did you resist arrest?" I ask, still skimming.

"Of course! The accusations are untrue, Sandra's just using it as an excuse to search for any _incriminating evidence _she thinks is there in my apartment! She'll ruin my tomatoes!"

_He's told me both the good news and the bad news. The good news is, if he resisted enough, he'll still have his 'tools' on him. Though, the same resistance wouldn't save him once convicted. And, since he still has his tools on him it's because of his recent heist, and there's evidence there. But, with his tools, he could survive on the lam if need b- oh God. I just found bad news._

"T-these charges look pretty solid… they even published the evidence on one of those websites to raise awareness about human trafficking…"

"WHAT!?" The phone crackles for a moment.

"Yeah… they can make a solid case with this…."

"I didn't do it though!"

"The state will think the opposite."

"C-can you represent me?"

"Of course I will… but… your chances are slim."

"How is fake evidence that solid?!"

"They have pictures of you and your fancy hat, in friggin' high resolution published right here! There are no witnesses, they've all disappeared! No one to testify against you, but that also means _no one to testify for you! _This may be all they have, but with your record they'll take this all the way to Supreme Court if need be!" I stop shouting, and hear Jack sniffling over the other end. _Acts like an adult, surprises the world with grand heists, and yet, is still a kid, it seems easy to forget that… _"S-sorry kid… should I call Soza?"

"N-no, I'm fine, the situation is under control, s-see?" I do not see, but I can just envision his half broken smile at this point. "Don't worry him, just be ready to defend me if necessary… but I'll get out of here, and we'll end up laughing about this at the bar." _While the kid drinks apple juice or something... _A small frown comes to my face. "S-see you." A click, and the phone silences itself.

_He's going to try to get out his way…_

_ Still… I can do what I can from here…_

* * *

POV: Jack Spring.

_No no no! Why, oh why has my luck turned against me! Why right after a heist… I've done this for years, why now, why not on the first day!_

A clang at the door. The prison bars slide open. I pull my hat over my eyes, spinning around and backing up onto the cold cell bench. There stands one Sanda, pale as a ghost, shaking. She drops a familiar white mask on the ground and kicks it across the ground with wavering strength. It's still enough force to slide towards me, and it stops, staring at me with its wide grin, laughing. Sandra turns around, walking out in silence. I curl up on the bench, pulling my hands to the back of my head.

_Game over, game over! She's gotten me here on three different crimes! One of which I've been framed for! _

Reaching into my ponytail, I pull out a small metal wire, hidden carefully within. _Only option is to escape… _I gulp, heart pounding. Picking the lock on the handcuffs is easy, _but can I really do this? _I shake off the feeling, and go work on the door, until a chill runs down my spine. I spin around, staring deeply into a purple abyss, swirling before me, covered with eyes, eyes that plague my nightmares. I drop my wire, and my knives fall out of my suit. I slap myself when my good luck charm almost falls out.

_That would cause too much panic…_

_ Heh… heh heh…_

_ …_

* * *

POV: Sandra.  


I sit down in a borrowed desk at the crappy station, all the rookies and local cops _celebrating. _"We caught Masquerade!" They shout, echoing themselves like idiots, causing me to respond with a resolute-

"SHADDAP!" This causes the room to quickly silence itself.

_All these years of hard work… come to an end by blind luck? No, something's wrong here. The boy wouldn't kidnap people, I could see it in his eyes… Masquerade definitely wouldn't though he has the credentials, he lacks the motive… And they're the same person…_

_Why couldn't I tell? In hindsight it's obviously the same person... they weigh the same, even weighted down by hidden gear... they both love to mess with me... they share the same irritating laughs... Jack has been rumored to steal to pay off debts... but even then..._

"How the hell is that possible!" I slam my hands onto the table, causing papers to fly around and indents to embed themselves on the surface. The rookies don't dare speak. The local cops don't know any better. They yell at me. I punch them into a wall. Simple. Now, they have to repair the wall along with picking up the papers. Simple. Masquerade gets caught, I should be happy, it's simple, right? But… _Jack's record says he is seventeen years old, and yet, I've tried to catch Masquerade for at least thirty years! How long was it exac- I've gotten wrinkles over my face, while his is in the prime of youth! It's not just unfair, it's impossible! Sigh…_

_That bastard always has luck on his side... no... it's that bad things happen to me... and because of that he's able to escape... every time..._

_ Why am I worrying about this? There are more pressing matters… Like, for example, Jack only ever has a Swiss army knife out. While Masquerade is a master of hiding weapons, or at least, better than most. Discounting the shoe blades, that one time… even patting down suspicious officers revealed no hidden weapons, but he still managed to pull out three knives after I deemed him 'innocent.' The other time, with the bank, he had so many lock picks on him, even after strip searching every suspicious person in the bank… Oy vey, the guy snuck a rocket launcher under his jacket, __on a plane to California__, thankfully didn't fire it until I cornered him in Los Angeles. "How did you sneak that off the plane!" I would shout._

_ "Simple. It's my good luck charm."_

_ He's going to escape… that much is certain. Then why am I not getting up to stop him... then why is no one moving... no, why is no one thinking..._

I get up, and start lumbering back to the cells.

* * *

POV: Narrator

Sandra walks over to the cells, rounding the corner with a prepped pistol, safety off. "Masquer-" she nearly drops her gun in shock. She's not surprised to see the cell door agape. She's a little confused to why Jack still stands there, muttering to himself quite loudly. She's freaked out by the large purple gap in front of Jack. She fires two shots, aiming for the eyes of the abyss. The bullets fly through the gap, but drift aimlessly. Jack however, spins around once the shots ring through his ears, his 'lucky charm' already armed.

"Oy, oy, SHUT UP!" He shakes heavily, his good-luck-charm of a M72 LAW precariously perched on his shoulder. "I-I'm trying to think here…" Sandra glares at the rocket. She fires, and so will he. Especially when driven into a corner. Any animal will fight with it's all when cornered. But humans… humans are special, normally, even the best of them show only a glimmer of potential. But when cornered, they will fight back like any other animal, with whatever they have. Tooth, nail, rocket launcher. "Go into the portal, maybe get answers, maybe something worse… or live life on the lam, maybe escape to a foreign country, maybe get caught again… either way…" He starts to laugh, mimicking his persona's smile. "I'll have to throw away everything I have, everything I've worked for!"

"Why don't you rot in a cell, where you belong!" Jack bends over, slowly picking up his mask while keeping one eye on Sandra.

"Why, I have been! You saw my apartment! I've been stuck in these slums all my life, never dreamed about leaving until an idiot came in and stole my alcohol. And I know what you're thinking. _Why? _I've asked that question every day, and this!" He motions to the large gap behind him with his free hand. "This is the key to my… well, everything! It's over Sandra, I concede~. You've won!" He claps once before remembering to prop up his rocket launcher.

"So you're just leaving?!" She shouts, anger boiling over. Spring just smiles behind his mask.

"Ja. It's been fun, but there's so much more to see than the inside of a cell. Bye~." Jack quickly backflips into the gap, closing his eyes and smiling. Then, a shadow comes over him. "Wh-"

"To hell with that! I will catch you! I swore that years ago!" Sandra quickly falls into the gap herself, trying to grab Jack's arm.

"This is my escape… _why are you coming with me!_"

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU NEVER WANTED THIS TO END YOU BASTARD!" Sandra strains her vocal cords with a loud shout, deafening Jack.

"_I LIED!__" _Jack tries to pull away, but when freefalling at the same speed and acceleration as the person he's trying to escape from, it's basically impossible. And, at this range, his rocket launcher would prove to kill them both.

_**Clunk!**_

Unless of course, he simply hits her in the head with the metal. Surely, now he could kick off her, and at least get some distance. He laughs to himself, collapses his M72 LAW and sliding it under his jacket. But alas, he forgot how hardheaded this inspector could be in his haste! Sandra quickly punches Jack in the gut and-

_**Clang!**_

"…You did not just handcuff me to yourself." Jack's eyes widen. Sandra smiles, and begins to burn off her anger by wailing on Jack. Every time it seemed like one of her punches would send him flying the chain tethering the two together would pull him back towards her. Jack, as soon as he could, started countering her with dodges and various kicks.

But when it comes to close combat, Sandra's a bulldozer and Jack's a cat. Sure, the cat would get out of the way every time, but when the cat has nowhere to run… well. Sandra quickly pulls the mask from his face and throws it into the abyss below. Jack, in anger, headbutts her, but she catches a glimmer from under his shirt. She quite easily pulls the Ruby of Justice from his neck, breaking the chain. Jack kicks her rapidly and repeatedly, causing her to punch with all her strength in retaliation. The chain tethering the two breaks, and the now unconscious Jack starts floating away into the abyss.

"Huff… huff… I got him…" Sandra, in her blind rage, looks at the gemstone in her hand. "Ah! This is-" Then she actually notices that the handcuff on her wrist broke, and begins to try and swim after Jack. It doesn't work, but she continues to try in vain. Then she notices how the once purple void had become a deep red, with bloodshot eyes surrounding her. "W-w-wha-" She shakes, and starts firing off rounds in all directions. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

After enough shouting and shaking, Sandra herself passes out.

* * *

Too Long: Didn't Read

-Jack fancies himself a phantom thief, going under the name of Masquerade. He also is a bag man for his day job, an oddly affable bag man.

-Jack wears a black bowler hat and a suit which holds various goods. He keeps his hair in a ponytail.

-As 'Masquerade,' he wears an expendable suit, a white mask, and lets his hair down.

-Jack is determined that he is at least thirty years old, but only has memories of the past seventeen years.

-Inspector Sandra is, well, an inspector who constantly tries to catch Jack.

-She can punch through walls, and at times plans on par with Jack.

-By luck, she catches Jack on false charges of kidnapping.

-Sandra, through trying to catch Masquerade for years, knows that Jack can't be seventeen.

-She also knows that the 'harmless' bag man she caught actually has a wide array of hidden weapons on him, including but not limited to; knives, trick shoes, and a M72 LAW.

-Jack is presented with two options, to run from the law and live life on the lam, or to go through a portal.

-Jack chooses to make a grand escape into Gensokyo, not knowing what would happen in the slightest.

-Sandra follows him, not caring what would happen in the slightest.

-Jack has a lawyer by the name of Alan.

-Jack likes, and grows, tomatoes.

-These aren't actually 'bullet' points.

-The author is sorry for writing this one chapter, but feels it necessary to set up both Jack and Sandra's characters.

-If you have any questions about the continuity or any headscratchers, please ask the author. He will respond. May not give an answer, but will respond.

-Jack has a soft spot for children.

-The answer is in the eyes. It must be.


	4. 4 - This Will Not End Well

_Chapter Four: This Will Not End Well._

POV: Jack Spring.

_Uggghhh… why did I do that. Impulse? My head… seems fairly busted up… neurons flying in all directions as rapidly as they can, causing spikes of pain every so often… and my body… not responding to my will… stupid neurons, work… can't even… open eyes… move lips…_

I lay back in darkness, entire body tingling, frozen with lack of energy. At my back there is something soft, a futon at the least, a light blanket over me, ending at my neck. There's one thin pillow at the back of my head, propping it up a centimeter or two. I lay there for what seems like an eternity, trying to piece together any commotion in the background, but it's much too far away. In enough time, someone comes up to me, no footsteps, just a presence.

A warm hand touches my forehead before quickly moving to prop my head up. Fingers dig through my hair, and my head helplessly floats upward. Just from her hands and presence, I can tell she is a woman, despite her not saying a thing. Her other hand slowly eases my mouth open, quickly placing a wooden spoon on my bottom lip. Warm broth finds its way down my throat, thin, but energizing me, warming me up.

Sadly, not enough energy to move. She spends a good twenty minutes spoon-feeding me one bowl of broth, and then leaves. For all that I wanted to get up, I will admit, it kinda felt nice…

* * *

POV: Sandra.

"The hell!" I pace around the dark woods, looking around for someone, some trace of society. The moon shines above, its light peering through the thick canopy, several moonbeams wherever I look. The bushes rustle often, but they turn out just to be little kids, rather than ravenous animals. A few wave to me, but most ignore me. I try to follow a few, shouting after them, but they seem to fly away, faster than I can run.

I place my hand to my head, stumbling around like a drunk on the city streets. I barely bring my head up, just staring at the grass, my head pounding. In the distance, the murmur of a river, or at least a creek, rings out. I pull my head up, rushing to the sound, plowing right through trees and branches with only one care.

Leaning over the creek I try to cusp my hands and pull some water up to my lips, but to no avail. But, more importantly, I stare into the water. Illuminated by the moonlight, my reflection stares back at me. My face is pale as Mas- Jack's mask, but that's not what's making me shiver. _My face…_

My wrinkles were gone, and my face seems to have gone back in time. I rub my face with one hand, both being much softer, much younger, similar to when I was about… twenty? I have no idea… but even then, my hair has changed. The length is still short, but my greying brown hair has turned to a brazen auburn, nearly red. Just what I happened, I have no idea, and I place a hand on a nearby tree to lean on it.

I phase right through it, a memory quickly passes through my head like a lightning bolt, and I scream.

* * *

POV: Jack Spring.

After a few more spoon-feedings of soup, I'm finally able to at least move my mouth. So, during the next spoon-feeding, I cough, and the spoon quickly retreats.

"My my, it's good that you're finally coming too." She finally speaks, her voice sweet, her hand pushing my head upwards a little more.

"W-who?" My lips are barely able to form words, quivering. I try to blink and slowly enough two slits of light pour trough. I can't get a good glimpse of this woman, her face covered in a veil of shadow, but it's at least good to be able to see a little…

"Just a hermit." I can make out the small glimmer of a smile, and she rubs my head for a moment.

"Hermit… in New York?" I manage to make out, eyelids fluttering, energy waning.

"Heh… just go back to sleep… I don't want to be the one to tell you." I hear a light hearted smile in her voice as she drifts away. And I do drift off myself, once again returning to darkness and silence.

* * *

POV: Sandra.

_Those eyes… those eyes everywhere. Then, falling onto the soft earth of the forest. Getting up, the sound of rustling in the bushes. The night sky darkening the land, one light of civilization in the far distance. A slow, easy walk. A growl in the bushes. A brisk run. A shadow arising from the bushes. A mad dash for light. A smiling girl. Walking out of the bush. I pause, stopping. Her smile widens, and shivers run along my spine. I pull out my gun and shoot true. She dodges them all, most only scarring her clothes. She backs off, running away, waving to me._

_ I blink. A sharp pain juts through my back. I turn my head as far as it goes, unable to see the presence behind me. I turn my head back, and stare at a hand. The hand has sharp claw like nails. It's covered in blood that shimmers under the moonlight. It's holding a heart. The hand quickly shoots through me and out my back. I collapse onto the ground, more blood pouring out than any bullet wound I've ever seen. I close my eyes, waiting for something, anything. It doesn't come soon enough, I lay there, hearing my heart being devoured; every juicy splorch to every draining slurp._

And that's the end of the memory. I lay back, my lower body still inside the tree, my head and torso resting under the leaves, looking up at the canopy. Warm beams of sunlight shine down from between the leaves, warming my 'body.' I've been laying under this same tree, near this same river, for a couple of days. A few girls tried poking me, their fingers going right through my head. I shivered, not responding, worried they may have been the same as the girl from before. The memory plays over and over in my head, leaving me to think.

_Just what happened… just what went wrong… if anything really? And… what happened to Mas- Jack?_

"Hey?" A young girl's voice rings out through the wood, from the other side of the babbling brook. I tilt my head back to get a view of her, although she's upside down. She has fairly basic black shoes, each with one strap over her white socks. She wears a green and white dress with several white swirling insignia. She has two swords of different lengths, one with a pink flower attached. Her face is childlike, but shows a glare of determination and hard work, much unlike most rookies on the force. Her eyes are a dark blue, her hair is pale white, and on her head is a black ribbon. "Are you alright miss?" And, behind her, a white blob as large as herself floats, seemingly attracted to her.

"Tell me, what do I look like to you?" I stare at her harshly as one can while lying on the ground, head tilted back.

"A ghost." Her answer is direct and to the point.

"I'd rather you'd call me a phantom." I curl my body upwards, pulling my body out of the tree. I stand across the river from her, me nearly being a head taller than her. _But, she's armed, and I lost my gun along with my body._

"You seem to be mistaken Ma'am, I-I'm half phantom, I was born this way. Ghosts are spirits of the deceased who can't rest." I stare at her up and down before chuckling to myself. "Ma'am?" My laughter stops.

"Everyone else wanted to wave or poke my face. What do you want, it's not a good idea to mess with someone unable to sleep…" I pull my arms in front of me.

"My mistress wants to see you, the rogue ghost." I smile.

"I refuse." I sit down defiantly, crossing my legs.

"Aren't you lonely out here?"

"I already have these winged idiots, I have _plenty _of company."

"Aren't you cold?" Apparently, that whole 'white robe' thing, where a spirit leaving a body already has a halo and basic tunic is false. I glare at the 'half-phantom,' unmoving.

"It's summer, it's warm enough. I really don't know, and frankly, I don't care for your mistress." She tenses up, as if someone had just insulted her mother, and glares back.

"It's either her, or the reaper."

"I choose neither." She pulls out the longer of her swords.

"Force it is." Her eyes flash red, and she draws the larger of her swords.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I get up, pushing my hand to the ground, trying not to fade through the soft earth, getting used to this 'being dead' thing.

* * *

POV: Hakurei Reimu

The first sign that something horrible is going to happen. An outsider, left on my doorstep. If I want to avoid all this, maybe it will best to just ignore him, leave him to the youkai, maybe even roll him down the shrine steps... but no. That's not right, that's not who I am, I couldn't just leave someone to die. This is a shrine damn it! No matter how desolate it is, it is still a haven for the gods! And as a shrine maiden it is my duty to help those in need! If I do not… I'll never get donations!

Either way… what will happen isn't his fault. At least, not now it isn't. He's just a boy. Granted, a boy with a lot of weapons hidden on him, and a hat that he holds tightly to his chest whenever I try to take it from him, but a boy. A thankfully unconscious boy.

This is all probably Yukari's fault, and even if it's not, she could have prevented it. That much must be true, I can feel it. She won't show up until after the boy wakes up, so I can't chew her out on it… yet.

Suddenly, a chill runs up my spine, and a silken glove floats onto my shoulder. I immediately spin around, punching the offender with a talisman on my knuckles. "God dammit Yuka-" I blink for a moment, realizing that this was not the youkai of boundaries and borders, but rather an idiot in a suit, now slouched over against a wall, talisman sticking to his face. He pulls his arm up and pulls the paper off his face.

"Wow, that's the fastest I've ever pissed off a woman…" He pulls himself up, brushing his suit off. Aside from the suit, he wears that round topped hat with some kind of unnatural pride, and the same silken gloves he must have held under his suit while unconscious. "I didn't even get to smile!" He laughs to himself before smiling. If I wasn't irritated before, I am now.

* * *

POV: Youmu Konpaku

"The things that cannot be cut by my _Roukanken… _forged by youkai… are next to none!" I've drawn my sword, standing on the other edge of the river. The naked ghost simply stands in front of me, no shame, no embarrassment, just pure determination. I can't match her glare's intensity, the tension in the air so thick you'd break a knife trying to cut it. We both remain silent, a warm summer breeze passing by. I take a deep breath…

And without hesitation charge across the creek, bringing my sword around in a wide arc. In an instant, I have crossed the river, and in that same instant, the ghost has jumped back, now bending over to push _Roukanken _towards the ground with her two hands.

"Your surprise attacks are far too slow." She gives a low growl, pulling her head upwards to stare at my face. In her eyes I see stone hard determination, the kind I wish to achieve myself.

"I thought it was obvious that I was going to attack…" I sweatdrop, trying to pull my sword up, but too much force is being applied to move it.

"I thought you were just going to gloat about your fancy sword." She frowns. "It's those kind of misunderstandings that get people killed." With one hand, she reaches up and grabs _Hakurouken, _easily removing it from its sheathe and performing a spinning slash. I barely have time to dodge backwards. "I'm guessing this one's something special too, huh?" She smiles, acting as if admiring the craftsmanship, but really not knowing what she's looking at.

"Who are you?" She doesn't even look at me as she responds.

"Sandra. I'm a detective, I solve problems, and when I don't see trouble, I find it, one way or another. Take you for example." She brings the sword around in front of her in a clumsy stance. "Do you have a name, or should I just call you kid, kid?"

"Youmu Konpaku." I bring my sword up over my head, in my usual stance.

"Alright kid, show me what a half-assed phantom can do." My ghost half glows red with anger, leaving Sandra to blink.

* * *

POV: Reimu Hakurei

"Name's Jack, Jack Spring." He says, extending a hand.

"Why are you wearing those gloves, I can understand the hat, but why?" I sip some warm green tea, and he pulls his hand back, biting his lip, rubbing his neck.

"Well, I wanted to appear the gentleman to the people who most likely saved my life, but I guess that plan's already gone to hell." He laughs lightly. "Where's the other girl?"

"What other girl?" I bite into a rice cracker, turning my head to look at him.

"The one who actually nursed me back to health. Said she was a hermit."

"Ah, that was probably Kasen. She's only around occasionally, but don't bother going out of your way to thank her." I take another long drink of tea, emptying my cup. "She's an upstanding person like that. And, if she decided it was best to leave you on my doorstep, the shrine should receive the thanks." I reach over to my right, pulling the tea pot out and pouring myself another cup. "I'm guessing you want to know where you are, right?"

"Nah, I already got the run down from Suika back there." He flips his thumb back, motioning towards the room he was asleep in for a day, Suika's room. _I told that drunk to tell me the moment he woke up… ugh, she probably ended up telling him one of those stories she usually reserves for parties. Ones that involve bringing in Gensokyo's more… embarrassing incidents. _

"That's nice I guess." I finish off the plate of rice crackers, licking a crumb off my finger. He just stands there, staring at me. "Something wrong?" He coughs into his gloves, fidgeting a little.

"I have three concerns. The first is that every fiber in my body is telling me that someone's lying to me. The second… what in the nine hells is a _danmaku?_" I raise my hand and a small red orb forms in the center of the room. His eyes light up, near flashing, and a small smirk slowly forms on his face. "That's a danmaku." He circles around it, examining it. "Huh."

"Yep."

"Looks nice."

"Thanks."

"I wonder..."

"Don't do that."

"What? Wonder?"

"Get any funny ideas."

"But that's how innovation occurs."

"Don't do that either."

"…" Jack pulls his head back, and rams it against the bright red orb, causing a flash of light and smoke to fill the room. I start coughing, and he laughs, coughing a little himself. "Wow!" The smoke clears, and I see him sprawled out on the floor, a large bump on his head, bleeding slightly. "Wooo!"

"You're insane." I look at my tea, now with several particles of upturned dust settling on the surface.

"Key to my success." He spins around and pushes himself up.

"What success?"

"Oh, nothing~." He smiles, brushing dust off his suit. A thought comes to my mind.

"…What was your third concern Jack?"

"Why, I was worried I was bothering you." He tilts his head, "I'm not, am I?" He smile fades, and the room is left in silence.

* * *

POV: Sandra.

We stare at each other, each obviously not wanting to move first. I have this Japanese short sword which I have no idea how to use, or even grip. Youmu has a longer sword she's obviously used for years and cherishes. _However… as bad as my stance, hers isn't much better. Her stance does offer a good blend of offence and defense against anything that's out of arm's reach, but leaves a glaring dead zone in the space too close for her to swing that sword effectively. But I remember a trick, one I've fallen for so often, the thief boy would pull out a weapon, ready for a fight. Then, without a warning, he either sheathed or threw away the weapon, running away before I could even respond. So… the best tactic is to fake her out. _

I slowly walk towards her, shaking as I brush against the edge of her 'kill zone.' The girl not taking the bait, I being to circle around her, staring into her eyes. Her gaze follows me, and I wait till just the ri-

"RAAAAAAAAAAH!" I throw the sword right at her, easily closing the distance as she dodges the spinning blade! I follow up with a swift punch to the gut, causing the swordswoman to cough, while I pull my hand upward to grip her by the collar. Before she can even swing that sword in a weak cut, I headbutt her and throw her back into a tree.

"Gah!" Youmu, still a bit dazed, tries to raise her guard but it's too little, too late. _Pin her to the wall with heavy blows, don't let her counter, stay in unless she's able to fight back…_

"But if you've done it right it should be over with one barrage!" However, I barely ever 'do it right…' Against anyone worth any mirth, they always are able to counter or slither away before I can knock them out. And against any thug on the street, such a strategy is overkill, gratifying overkill, which could also be named as excessive force or police brutality. But I digress… Youmu, after taking a pummeling, counters with a slash, forcing me to back off as she pulls herself together. "What, is that all? I've chased phantoms for years, and you're not even half as skilled!"

"Two-hundred…" Youmu, getting up, stares at me, shrugging off any effects from my previous attack. She slowly brings the sword to her side. "Not afraid… not afraid…" I blink.

"You alright shorty?" If years on the force have taught me anything, it's that anyone with a blade becomes at least three times as dangerous if their mentality starts to break.

"I'M NOT SCARED OF GHOSTS!" She shouts, and from the canopy above several little girls fly off into the sky, startled. After her outburst, she huffs and puffs, the marshmallow behind her spinning in circles. I sigh.

"I told you to call me a phanto-"

_"Two-hundred yojana in one slash!"_ In the instant, Youmu disappears in a bright white flash. In the instant directly after, a pale blue slash rips through my side, causing blue 'blood' to pour out. In the third instant, Youmu reappears, and my knees fall to the ground. "That was all." She sheathes her sword, walking away to pick up her shorter sword. She turns around, looking at me, worried… "Y-you alright?" Then, everything goes black…

* * *

POV: Jack Spring.

"…" Both of us, Reimu and I, stare. I stare at her, the shrine maiden. She stares at her tea, the warm caffeinated refreshment. The room is silent, not another word is spoken, but the silence speaks for itself loudly. _She doesn't like me. It's plain to see, but why doesn't she like me? It's not like my first impression did me in, she didn't like me from the start. So why take me in? Just because a hermit left me on her doorstep? No, she must be getting an incentive to taking care of me, or at least, give a roof over my head. My stomach's running on empty, and she's sitting there sipping tea and munching crackers! Ugh… things will turn ugly if I stick around… which means the best bet is to get out and leave. Preferably with a bow, and the tip of a hat. But first, answers._

"So, Miss Reimu-" My voice cuts the silence like a dulled knife, ragged and worn. I pause for a moment, coughing. "Was I with another person? Did the hermit give any me-"

"No." Her firm voice quickly reassembles the silence bit-by-bit. _No answers, not even half-truths which lead to true-truths._

"Well then." Holding a dagger at the silence, I refuse to let that wall be rebuilt, and continue to question the young maiden. "Thank you for your hospitality, time, and information, but I really must be off." I tip my hat. "I ha-"

"No." She munches a cracker. "Please, stay awh-"

"I have a tight schedule, and I have to meet wi-"

"Stay awhile. It's not safe to go out into Gensokyo-"

"Meet with someone, and I'm already a week behin-"

"Everything wants you dea-"

"Same as alwa-"

"Not quit-"

"Please?" Her hands shake slightly, still gripping the cup of tea. I keep mine in my pockets, balling my hands into fists. On her face is a bored look. On mine is a smile. Behind me, a curious, all knowing, oni peeks out, out of sight, out of mind. But, there is only one thing that concerns me and the shrine maiden right now. _Each other._

"Who do you have to meet in Gensokyo? You don't know anyone here." Reimu downs her cup, but sets it at her side, refusing to refill it.

"I know one, and if my presumption is correct, I may end up knowing more." I sit down, legs crossed, my eyes only slightly higher than hers. _Everything's always in the eyes, look into one's eyes, and you'll find them to be an open book. _"Besides, it's better to get to know the people around you, rather than be cooped up in bed all day, wouldn't you say Miss Hakurei?"

"I wouldn't. You were out for a few days, and should take it easy." She rubs the back of her neck. "But I must ask, I have the power to send you home. Just say the word, and Gensokyo will be all it needs to be for you, _a dream. A bad dream." _She stands up, staring at me.

"Missy, there ain't nuthin' left for me back home." I pull my eyes away from hers, so she can't read me like an open book. _I've been framed for one crime. My other crimes have come to become accepted as public knowledge. Trying to make a new life back home… an actual life, a home, a career, not just cheap thrills and high-class heists… would be nigh impossible. Now lies a chance, a probable chance, of a new life. And maybe, if I play my cards right…_

"I've heard that one before." I pull my head up, and she folds her arms. "I'm sure that you have more at home than you'll ever find here." I stand up, looking into Reimu's eyes once more.

"Reimu…" I sigh to myself. "When I walked through that portal I gave up everything I had. Both physical and men-"

"Liar. You still have that suit, your hidden weapons, and you reek of outsider." Her eye brow twitches thrice. "And you say you walked through that portal? You _chose _to come here? You can still go home, it's not too la-"

"I had no choice, it's already been done!" I yell, immediately covering my mouth afterwards. "S-so-"

"Go home! I know who you think you are, I know your typ-"

"You know _nothing!_" The end of my sentence rolls on the tip of my tongue for a good five seconds.

"I know pl-"

_"Nothing!" _Our childish argument is cut short by a slow, soft clapping. A jolt of energy seems to fly through the air, cutting right through both Reimu's and my empty head. In an instant, Reimu spins around and punches the polite watcher in the face. I slowly turn around and… find out that Reimu just swung a blow into the air. I blink, a chill runs right through my spine, my hat quickly filched from my head and two soft arms, light as a cloud, rest on my head. My body fidgets, an involuntary fear.

"What do you want Yukari?" Reimu growls out at the person behind me, even angrier towarss her than she was with me! _Wait for it…_

"Ufufufufu…" A soft voice rings through my ears, causing me to shake more than I should have. Immediately, on reflex, on fear, I pull my arms back and throw whatever's behind me over my head and into the wall.

"Alright…" Turns out it's Suika. "Pretty boy, I thought we were cool…" And oni sized hole in the paper walls stands out, a new addition to the already half-broken shrine.

"Sor-waitaminute, THE NAME'S JACK!" I shout out through the hole. The applause returns, and I quiet down immediately.

"Indeed it is… Mr. Spring was it?" I turn and see a woman, a woman whose very presence causes me to shake. Her eyes are a deep purple, with a dark golden glimmer backing them up. She holds a closed parasol like a cane, and with her other hand holds a fan in front of her face like a mask. _Mask? …Where's my mask? _I dig through my jacket, grasping knives, paper, small glass bottles, and my little black book… but no mask. _Oh, right. Sandra… Sigh… _The woman has a face in its twenties, a body in its thirties, a laugh in its forties, and an attitude with the mix of teenage swagger with age old grace. She has a floppy pink mob cap on her head, and more ribbons on one outfit than most women have in their entire wardrobe, especially since they fell out of fashion as of late. After a long awkward silence, Reimu growls for me.

"Yeah, that's him." Every fiber in my body tells me to run, run out of fear for my life, for my livelihood. My heart, however, tells me to stay awhile, and talk with the mysterious woman. But of course, my soul tells me to simply interrogate the woman with a smile on my face. _I can feel it… she has the answers... and just being here she's taunting me... testing me…_

_ Time to bluff, gamble, and of course; force a stalemate. Because winning right now… would be impossible._

* * *

POV: Youmu Konpaku

"Miss Sandra?" Having gathered my swords, I walk over to the woman, shaking on the ground, clutching her wound, staring with dead eyes. "You're already dead, you're fine!" She continues to shake, ignoring me completely. I bend down, placing my hand to her head. Her 'skin' is cold, but none colder than any ghost. It's a lot firmer than my phantom half, smooth but not quite 'squishy.' I sigh. "What would Mistress do… she's good at dealing with spirits like this…

"I dunno…" At the familiar chime, a soft head rests itself on my shoulder. It's most certainly Yuyuko. "Maybe we should ask her!" I turn around.

"I know it's you Mistress Yuyuk-" I blink, and stare at her, wearing an outfit that is exactly the same as my own.

"Oh boo… you're no fun." Which means, it's quite a few sizes too small. "And look, you even scared her, poor thing…" Yuyuko sighs, staring at Sandra.

"Mistress… why are you wearing my clothes?" I ask, shaking off the initial shock. She tilts her head.

"Well, I am your mistress… and what's yours is mine… so these _are _my clothes, right?" She smiles.

"But why wear them?"

"Why not?"

"Mistress, I can think of several reas-"

"Are you going to continue to ask pointless questions, or are you going to let my ghost bleed out?" _She's a ghost, she'll be fine…_

"B-but I want to know!"

"No reason in particular." She bends over the ghost herself, waving me off, and examining her. "What did you do to her Youmu, you can't treat a woman like that…"

"M-mistress!" My face flushes bright read, and my ghost half flies around in circles, red as a beet.

"Didn't Youki teach you to treat a woman like you would a fine sword?" She sighs. "A ghost that's scared of death, wonderful… Youmu, carry her for me?" Yuyuko begins to float blindly home, leaving me and Sandra behind.

"W-wait mistress!" I pick up the girl, carrying her over as I dash to Yuyuko's side. She smiles as I catch up, and ruffles my hair. We float for a while in silence, until I pop the question again. "So… why are you wearing my clothes?"

"Eh heh heh… you know that fancy 'washing machine' Yukari got for me… well… it kinda… exploded when I tried to wash my clothes." She sticks her tongue out, rubbing the back of her head. "Heh heh…" I sigh.

"Did anything catch fire?"

"…The mansion was already on fire, does that count?" Immediately, I drop the girl, and run ahead back to _Hakugyokurou. _Yuyuko sighs, picking up the ghost, and holding her close to her chest. "Maybe you'll be able to breathe life into Youmu…" She ruffles the ghost's hair before flying faster, trying to keep up with her gardener. "Youmu, it's alright, really!"


	5. 5 -The Gloating Game

A/N: Gonna try to make shifts of PoV a little more subtle. Here's your warning.

_Chapter Five: The Gloating Game_

**Last we left off, Jack had ended up in the Hakurei Shrine, already trying to pick a fight with its maiden. Yukari, wanting to ensure her plans success, intervened before the inevitable curbstomp battle, appearing before a pissed off shrine maiden and irritated thief. The shrine maiden herself sits, only trying to meditate while her shrine is invaded by what she deems as 'Irritating threats that should just stay at home.'**

"Pleasure to meet you Miss Yakumo." Jack, with a wide, albeit twitching, smile shakes Yukari's hand. Yukari yawns, shaking back lazily.

"The pleasure is all mine Mr. Spring." Another of Yukari's 'formalities,' loosely translated to 'lies.'

"Oh no, I'll be honest miss, something just _draws _me to you, like a _moth to a flame_. I don't know just _what _it is I see, but I will risk immolation just to find out." Jack's eyes narrow, and begins to mask his lower face with his hand, passing it off as 'pondering' by rubbing his chin.

"My, my, I'm flattered." Yukari stares lazily, as if occupied by more important matters.

"I'm sure someone such as yourself gets compliments all the time."

"No, not really." Yukari passes a quick glance towards me. "I get more insults in fact."

"What is an insult but a dishonest man's compliment?"

"The people I get them from are _brutally honest_."

"Are we talking your people or my people, because I know my people as well as any other animal. But, then again, you're neither human nor animal, right?"

"It's been said I'm a very youkai-like youkai." Yukari smiles, her mind doing one of two things, sleeping, or living for the pleasures of life, taking pride in what once was an insult against her.

"Well, regardless, you obviously _deserve _such words." _…The compliments or the insults?_

"I wouldn't say obviously, but yes, I do." The two pass half compliments between each other, eyes staring at the other's. I close mine, and try to block them out, trying to relax in _my _shrine.

"So, where did you hear of me, or at least, 'Mr. Spring?' I mean-"

"A _criminal _such as yourself surely has a grand reputation, wouldn't you say?" _Criminal? _Jack tenses up for a moment before sighing.

"Of course. I _love _the limelight." _Of course._

"So, why do you act like a hotshot when you're clearly not?" Again, Jack tenses up, but this time does not sigh, but rather chuckles.

"Please Miss Yakumo, all the world's a stage, and all the men are just players."

"Is that why you fancy a mask?" She smiles, closing her fan.

"That's why I play the role of a big shot. Live a life, live a lie long enough, and _eventually you become it._"

"Cute. You take advice from a drunk playwright." Yukari deadpans.

"And what advice would you give in his stead?" Jack smiles, pulling his hand down.

"All the world's a game, and all the men are just pawns."

"So, we're playing this game?"

"Chess~?" Yukari giggles.

"You know very well which game we're playing!" Jack glares at Yukari, his smile fading, patience running thin already.

"My my, you're so crass Mr. Spring. Is this how you treat women?"

"I'm sorry _miss. _Would you rather me be overzealous, heart palpitating, eyes-a-flutter, dazzled by awe-inspiring beauty and power?" At this, Jack had one hand to his heart, his other extended as if offering it to the woman. "Or would you rather me be quiet and reserved, excessively modest?" Jack drops down to the ground so fast, grinding his nose to the tatami. "Would you rather me brownnose, make you seem grand by making myself bland and boring?" Jack jumps up, turning his head upwards to look Yukari in the eyes while dusting off his suit. "Or would you rather me be myself?"

"I'd much prefer the first. It so rarely happens, would be amusing."

"I'm sure you get off on that, what with the thrills, the ego, the benefits…" Jack makes several vulgar gestures, smiling. "Well, honestly, I do too. So, you be overzealous for me, I'll be overzealous for you?" Jack gives a half bow, and Yukari just laughs.

"Most certainly not, you take me for a pile of lust and 'romance,' from one of your playwright's 'stories.' Word of advice, no woman is like that."

"I beg to differ, the play emulates the world. Such a play reflects the ideals of the time, or at least, the image seen by men of that time period. It shows how the world works."

"Boy, the world works like a game of chess-"

"-Yes, chess is the game of Kings, made to emulate the world the same as a play-"

"-Ah, but this is a world of illusions, things are different, everything is not as it seems. You've no idea what to expect of this world."

"This world has no idea what to expect from me." Jack coughs. "But, very well, let's play a different game instead. Level the playing field."

"What other game would you suggest?" Jack begins to sweat. His comments were becoming slower and slower upon the draw. Against Yukari, any logic or argument turns to mush- _Am I really listening to this? No, this is stupid. Just meditate._

"Hmm…" He rubs his chin idly, "well, I am a fan of checkers."

"Checkers." Yukari deadpans. "You'd compare the game of Kings to checkers?"

"Well, why not?" Jack smiles.

"It's foolish."

"I've lived in New York. I know the world is a stupid place with stupid people who die and leave stupid corpses. And I am one of those people. The world is a land for the fools." Yukari smiles.

"How would a foolish _pawn _ever capture a queen?"

"He would be able, if the bait was appeasing to the eye. Diagonally, of course."

"I thought you were more aligned with checkers." A chuckle from the girl.

"You wanted a reference to a pawn and a queen." A glare from the boy.

"Place all the pieces on the same board and let's play a game."

"I wouldn't know the moves madam." A laugh.

"Then learn." A stare.

"I plan to."

"So then tell me boy, what's your opening move?" A tilt of the head.

"…Pardon?" A drop of the hat.

"You can learn all you want, but the game's already started. You only have so long before the game starts without you. Act pretty boy." A harsh glare.

"Well then, I think it's obvious that… trying to take your king from the get go… so I'm going to… cripple your offensive… checkers." Jack mumbles, trying to look away from Yukari's gaze.

"But do you honestly think you can catch a queen, or her knights?"

"Every piece is obtainable, they all start equal in the game of life, in checkers." Jack starts to spit out words hastily.

"But youkai are born different from humans." Yukari giggles. Jack nearly breaks.

"NO! I-I mean, while that is true, we're playing a game of wits… and, wits are based off of what one has learnt in life… so we're equals… th-the black checker and the white queen, 'cause… 'cause…" Jack coughs, and a smile slowly forms on his visage. "Because we're both seventeen right?" _…The hell?_

"Ufufufu…" _How does he-_

"Heh…" _Where does he know Yukari from?_ Jack pulls his head back up, and they both stare into each other's eyes. Jack leans in closer to her face. Yukari keeps him away by waving her fan. "And of course, given enough experience, once a piece crosses the board… he can become anything he wants… so king me."

"Ufufu, the king is worthless, just another target."

"In checkers it isn't."

"I'm playing chess."

"I'm playing checkers."

"Not so different after all."

"Both boring board games that make things… much to complex. Even this game has taken a metaphor and crashed it at an intersection; leaving a train wreck that, unsurprising, keeps moving… how about a quick game of poker? I mean… after all… a game of wits is fun and all… but life involves a little chance…"

"I'm afraid I can't take that offer. I must be off soon, you see." In a flash, Jack pulls two surgical knives out of his jacket, one in each hand, thrusting them and Yukari's head from the left and the right.

"No… please, stay awhile." Yukari, having moved her hand to block one knife, allows both of them to see the other's smile. _…I've no idea what's going on anymore… and I don't think Jack does either._

* * *

**Of course, Jack knew exactly what was going on. He was playing the game that comes naturally to him, a game of egos. And, quite honestly, he knew he was being completely outclassed, having resorted to baseless bluffs, spouting flowery nonsense while trying to keep up with the pace Yukari has set.**

"Ufufufu…" Yukari laughs, having blocked the knife with the pointed end aimed at her, ignoring the knife with the tail end pointed towards her.

_I've already gambled with the 'seventeen' remark… and it has borne fruit for me. But… she's good. Too good to beat with wits… much too strong to beat with threats… To even beak even… gamble, take risks, bluff… go for broke… I want answers, and I know she has them._

_All of them._

_But she's smart. She can read people at a level greater than my own. It's not logic… it's something else… magic? No… spirituality? Bah, regardless… The only chance… is to take all the chances._

"Heh." I quickly move my hand to hammer her head with the butt of my knife… when my hand seems to disappear. _…My hand seems to disappear?_ I move my hand in a circular motion, and can still _feel _it attached to my arm… but it's not there. _What?_ And the knife is taken from my hand. _…Oh, alright, that makes sense. She's simply disarmed me. With some magic jiggamawhutter. Simple enough. All she's doing is flaunting power, doing something I can do myself, but with foreign methods. …Stop sweating Jack._

"Shouldn't have done that idiot…" Reimu just sits there, sipping tea, though, instead of glaring at me, continues to glare at Yukari. My hand quickly reappears, disarmed. I quickly rummage through my pockets, but my knife set is… gone. Everything else is there… _nothing's even been moved. _I stealthily raise my right leg a few inches off the groun-

"You'll get them back at the end of the day. Don't make me confiscate your shoes… or your lucky charm." _Urk. _Yukari goes back to masking her smile with her fan.

"M-m-may I be excused for a moment…" I shake, trying to keep my face straight.

"Of course, I have to talk to Reimu anyway." She turns her head to the glaring shrine maiden and begins to talk about insignificant things, starting with the weather. It's been nice out lately.

"A-alright then… please don't leave without biding me adieu…" I back away slowly and go ignored as Reimu starts berating Yukari. She's been planning something lately. As soon as I reach the sliding door I slip out and start to panic, running silently around the shrine.

_She thinks she's so smart, well she is, but, intelligence plateaus, once you reach the level where you can predict how one responds any additional intellect is nigh useless. It's only use is in little tidbits that may or may not throw off an opponent. Which is one of the few things able to decide a battle of wits, the other two being implanting false information… and getting saved by the cavalry you never expect… In her being here, face to face, false information will be seen through… she probably knows more tidbits than me… and I have no cavalry…_

I sit down on the porch outside, looking up at the sky and scratching my head.

_Oh, this is bad, this is bad… need something… something with leverage… turn the tables… level the playing field… clear the board… grrr..._

"Mmm… munya…" _Suika! _The oni yawns out from one room. I quickly walk in on her laying down on a bed, wrapped around her gourd.

"Hey? Suika? May I borrow you for a moment?" I poke her shoulder.

"Rrrg…" She turns over in her half sleep. "Pretty boy?"

"Jack." I grit my teeth and bear it.

"Whatever." She pulls the blanket over herself.

"Look, Yukari is here and I… I… just help me already!" I shout, but quickly cover my mouth, hoping not only that the two in the other room didn't hear me, but also that I didn't piss off an oni.

"Fine." Seems like I didn't.

"Eh?" I blink. She takes a drink from her gourd.

* * *

**As Jack explains the situation to the half-asleep, half-drunk oni; Yukari simply smiles as she talks with her good friend Reimu.**

"Reimu, you look tense, is something the matter?" My 'good friend' sits, drinking tea.

_Hmmm… the boy is… alright I guess... he seems smarter than Remilia. And he's probably the only other person stupid enough to try and 'reason' with me._

"Get out." She puts the cup down and glares.

_What did Ran say his abilities were? …No, it'd be best to keep it a surprise. I'd love to see how he would try to best me, may even let him on an occasion or two._

"Oh come on, haven't I earned a place in-"

_Of course, he'd know his victory to be false and tear himself apart because of it._

"And take _him _with you. I don't care what you do to humans from I don't care where, but don't bring them here."

_Then he'd try to pass it off as a genuine victory to anyone stupid enough to listen. Gain faith like a god, and gain faith in himself._

"But Reimu, if not here, then where? If not now, then when? If not me, then who?"

_Set himself up for a spectacular fall, beautiful in defeat._

"No. No. No. Get out."

…_I wonder when Ran's going to 'betray' me next. With me advancing this plan she must be lamenting in her own mind, more than usual at least._

"Come on Reimu, I'll make it up to you." I pop up behind her, whispering into her ear.

_She's bound to do it soon enough, might as well make her 'betrayal' benefit me by taking out one of my opponents._

"No." Being a shrine maiden, one obviously knows how to deny any guest in the most polite way possible. "Get out." Whether invited or not.

_It better not be on that Friday… but it's probably not going to be on Saturday… She'll be spending that day with Chen…_

"You and I both know Gensokyo needs new blood, if only to be shed. I just want to give the boy a chance." I pout with the most convincing innocence I can pull out. Granted, it's not very convincing, but Reimu is so simple, her only defense against lies is her intuition.

_Although, her strong intuition and her opinion of me leads to an obvious response._

"And what will that chance cost me?" Accompanied by a sigh and a glare, Reimu nails it.

_Hmm… I guess Jack hasn't come with a subpar rebuttal yet. Stuck boyo?_

"Just a bit of your time, everything else would work out just fine. Trust me, my word is good. You know that to be true."

_Ah, even that upcoming religious war will blow over without my interference, regardless of who 'wins.'_

"That's what I'm worried about… I'm not training him."

_He doesn't need it. He'll find out what to do on his own, just by glaring. He doesn't even need a weapon, everything he needs he already has._

"Yes you are."

_I mean, in that suit he has enough supplies to 'take over a third world country,' if the horse's mouth speaks the truth._

"For what reason exactly?"

_But even with all that, all he needs are three vital organs. His heart, brain, and soul._

"Promise of a vacation in the immediate future." Reimu freezes, shakes for a moment, then groans.

_By the time this is all through, I'll have at least one of them for myself._

"…This is a trap."

_So, where is the boy in question, keeping me waiting?_

"So what if it is? A guarantee of no worries, no expectations, no work. What kind of trap would be worse than living here? Think about it. Until you've made your choice just look after the boy. Regardless of if you accept the prize or not, the experience will be reward enough." Reimu pauses to think

_Or is he waiting for my conversation with Reimu to end? Feigning politeness? How unfortunate, I had wished for him to cut off Reimu._

* * *

**At the same time, Jack is standing right outside the room, listening in, biting his lip.**

"Got it Reimu~?" Yukari laughs from the room. I shake a little.

"Yeah…" The shrine maiden in question grumbles.

"Great~. I'll be off th-" Yukari stops mid step, staring at me through the doorway. I hold the stabby end of my 'weapon' at her neck with a wide grin on my face. "What are you doing Suika?"

Radio: Drunk As I Like – SWR

"I don't quite know, but I'm just drunk enough to not care!" I hold the short oni like a spear, with my right hand holding her ankle, my left on her neck. I angle her so one of her horns is right at Yukari's neck. "But pretty boy, you're too sober for this to work." _Regardless._

"I'm sure you've _used _people in the past. I'm just using people _practically. _So, Miss Yukari, shall we continue?" I smile, tilting my head back so my bowler cap stays on straight.

"I thought you said men weren't pawns."

"They're not. I didn't say they couldn't be treated like pawns if necessity so chooses." _No offence to Miss Suika._

"Put… Suika down." She stares inquisitively.

"No thank you."

_From Suika's story, it's clear that Yukari is a high class youkai. So what. The important part of the story is that Suika is one of her fair-weather friends. So, the logical assumption is that Yukari won't make her disappear like a knife set. For if she does, Suika becomes my resource, because Suika will be sour towards her. But, if she does not, she says flatly, in front of said friend, that 'Jack pulled a fast one on her.' So, this gives her a choice, a choice that allows me to see her personality, and from that; her future choices. Will she preserve herself? Or will she damage herself just to spite her enemy? But, it's quite easy to see, that with how little I have to take away from and how much she has to lose, she'll pick the former and say something like-_

"Alrighty then. What would you ask of me pretty boy?" _Bingo_.

"You seem knowledgeable. I ask of only one thing. Answers I know you know." I smile, tilting my head.

"Careful boy. You aren't playing the game anymore. This is, how you say, when all the players stand up and pull their guns out, ready to shoot someone who's _cheated._" Yukari smiles, as if expecting something of this nature.

"I _love _that part!" The room in the air burns with sweet tension, a kind of high rarely experienced. Not just playing in the cruel game of a game of wits, but being on the losing end of it. She laughs.

"So, in order to get those answers, why you'd have to beat me in a spell card battle~!"

"What is a sp-" Yukari cuts me off, clearly planning on ending it here.

"And before that you'd have to travel through six worlds, defeat my six generals of the apo-"

"-Bring it on, I love challenges, send them in droves-"

"-Only then could you assault my stronghold in another dimension-"

"-I know my chances are low, which I why I cherish those chances, and take every risk-"

"-I mean, you might as well not even try, your chances are so low-"

"-They couldn't go any lower. Which means yours couldn't go any higher. That means-"

"It's futile to go against me."

"It's futile to try and stop me." We stare into each other's eyes for a moment. I regret it already.

"Or, I could just kill you."

…

_No, do not let it end just like that! _

"If I was someone you could kill with just words, you wouldn't be interested… and if you killed me… what fun would that be?"

"Ufufufu, I wonder… I'll ponder this. Have a nice day~." Without giving me any time to counter, she falls backwards onto the ground and into a gap. The gap quickly closes, and… silence.

"…What?" I blink, and put Suika down.

"Yeah, she can do that. Didn't I tell you?" _No you did not. …so that's how I got here… just proves that Yukari is nothing but trouble… _The teetering oni burps, walking back to her room. I fall backwards onto the ground and start laughing. _Crap… it ended just like that._

"Hehe, complete loss~! It's over!" _She was getting information, but so was I! So why would she risk telling me too much? Simple, there are some tidbits one can only get from seeing the person face to face, and one has to do that if they hope to completely understand the other, to predict their every move! So what if I could read her, she can read me perfectly! Now she has the information she needs and can send idiots to mess with me at her leisure while she's unreachable! At least home I had a visual target when someone messed with me… a house or a corporation… since I can't catch her… damn teleporters… she's freaking incorporeal! I thought I could at least keep up with her… catch her like Sandra… but no... _"Complete loss!"

"…You alright?" Reimu sips tea, staring at me, detached. The tension of the room drops, and in the air there is just sticky heat.

"Oh, of course I'm alright!" I pull myself up, crossing my legs. "Why do you think I'm not?" I tilt my head with a false smile, _even if I can see the loss, it doesn't mean she does._

"Because whenever anyone tries to match wits with Yukari they end up broken." She glares at me, I snicker. "Don't try to reason with her, she makes no sense."

"Only to one a simple as you she doesn't." My false smile turns into a devilish smirk, and her detached stare becomes a scornful one.

"So then, _educate _me on what just happened." She puts down her teacup.

"It's simple my dear." I pick up her teacup, taking a large swig before tipping over the teacup and spinning it on my pointer finger. "I've won." _Even if I have not, the mere thought that I won is a great boon. Even if I know too much to believe that, she does not._

"And the complete loss thing?" Reimu groans, clearly not believing me.

"Why it was hers, why else would I be _laughing? _Why else would she _retreat?_" _Now that we both know each other a face to face meeting would always give me a little chance I would have otherwise lost. So come Yukari! Stop me. And give me the answers I want. All she would do by coming back here would be to give me another chance to win, or to give me more information. _"She knows as well as I the dangers that come from sticking her ugly mug within kicking distance!" _It's either a taunt, a challenge to come back just to spite me but hurt her own chances; or it's a boast, a boast made to hurt her 'presence' and make mine known. It's a win-win. It's cocky and full of hubris. It's brilliant._

"You're a loon." I laugh. _Alright pretty boy, time do what you do best. Make yourself look good. _"By the way, you're bunking with Suika."

"I thought I told you I was going out." I drop the tea-cup, which easily shatters upon impact.

"You did. I said otherwise." Reimu glares before standing up and walking to the kitchen for some rice crackers.

"…"

"When you die, can I have your suit?"

"...Excuse me?"

"Such items are rare in Gensokyo, and would help me settle a debt with an antique collector."

"I'll be buried in this suit."

"Really? I doubt it'll do you well when assaulted by feral youkai… some of the more 'proper' youkai will just kill you outright regardless… and if you get kidnapped by an oni then you'd wish you were dead. There probably wouldn't be much left to bury." I stand up.

"Is that a threat?" She floats, now a few inches 'taller' than me.

"That's a warning."

Radio – Off.

* * *

**While sparks fly in all directions at the Hakurei Shrine, Hakugyokurou remains silent, even Sandra was sleeping.**

…**Was.**

"Ughhh…" I groan, twisting around in bed. I wrap the warm sheets around myself, digging my head into the soft pillow. _Just a bad dream. JUST A BAD FREAKING DR- wait. I've been through this already. Thinking I didn't die. The pain in my gut from a sword. A SOFT PILLOW!_

I immediately get up out of the bed and the first thing I notice is the white bathrobe-esqe clothes I'm wearing, clearly a size too large. I look around the room, catching a glimpse of a marshmallow darting out the room. I peek down the neck of the robe, catching a glimpse of the _lack _of a scar, or even any evidence of a sword wound at my side. _Well, save for the pain. _

I look at the room. 'Classical' Japanese in nature, evident from the flooring and the paper thin walls. And yet, several things are out of place. Why is there a bed and nightstand? Why is there a hamburger on the nightstand? _AND WHY THE HELL AM I STILL HERE!? _The answers to all of these questions are obvious. It's obvious that- almost instantaneously, the swordswoman named gardener walks into the room, the marshmallow floating behind her.

"Ah, Miss Sandra, I ho-"

"IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU TOOK ME HERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" I throw the hamburger at her face. It splatters into a mess of ground beef and ketchup. "KNOCKED ME OUT AND TOOK ME AGAINST MY WILL!" She wipes off the mess from her face just in time to see a nightstand flying at her face.

"Sandra! Calm do- w-what are you going to do with that bed?" I hold the ornate bed over my head, glaring.

"AND THE ONLY REASON I'M STILL HERE IS TO BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU!" I throw the bed, which is quite easily cut in half. Then I punch her in the face.

* * *

**While Sandra is brawling, Yuyuko sits on the back porch, giggling as-**

_**CRASH!**_

"Calm down you idiot!"

"YOU HUMAN TRAFFICKING! GRRRR!"

_**CRASH!**_

"All you're going to do is wreck the place!"

"IS THAT A PROBLEM?!"

_**CRASH!**_

Five minutes in, and the Netherworld is already more lively, even if it is lacking a little spring. Inviting someone to death from the human village would be too traceable, and when an outsider comes in all I have to do is wait for death to take hold. Any person with enough will to become a ghost obviously has the drive to do something stupid, and having Youmu tail the person would be the best for her, get her out of the mansion a little more. It's brilli-

_**Growl…**_

"Youmu, I'm hungry…" The two dueling girls jump out from the mansion, dodging attacks through the giant garden; ducking under fruits the size of their heads, throwing punches at the large stems, hopping on leaves to dart around the opponent, slashing blades through thick leaves.

"One moment mistress!" Youmu charges right at Sandra, ready to perform a quick _iaijutsu, _while Sandra counters by pressing the side of the blade into the ground, deadlocking the two.

"Oooooh!" I clap my hands as sparks fly from the sword. Sandra's spiritual energy, and by extension, her spiritual body, is an enraged red, tinting the sparks with her color. Her rage tints her voice as she tilts her head towards me.

"Who the hell are you." No more yelling though, just a diverted, quiet anger.

"That girl's Mistress. Yuyuko Saigyouji. And you must be Sandra… do you have a last name?"

"Sandra is my last name." She glares at me, eyes ablaze with rage.

"Oh? And what's your first?"

"Miss. Inspector, Detective, New York's Finest, Jailer. Take your pick."

"Well then, Fallen Spirit Sandra, I have a proposition for you." She releases Youmu's blade, causing my gardener to recoil backwards as the sword flies back, now unrestrained. She slowly walks towards me, cracking her knuckles.

"Talk."

"It seems to me that you have even lost the skin off your back."

"Remind me once again..."

"And seeing as you have nowhere to go."

"No really, continue…" She walks over slowly, steaming like a burning glacier.

"I'd love to offer you residence here in Hakugyokurou until you get back on your feet, learn to control your spirit." I smile.

"What are you?" A hidden twinge of fear is quickly remasked by her anger.

"You may call me Yuyu-chan." She growls, unamused. "I am the Princess of the de-"

"SHADDAP!" Within an instant, a burning red fist knocks me flying in a rapid spin.

* * *

**Sandra is left to huff and puff as her spiritual energy burns off into steam all around her.**

"Mistress!" The gardener charges at me from behind.

"SHADDAP!" I punch her in the face. My arm throbs with pain, and I rub it as a soft pressure applies itself firmly to my back.

"Wow, that's a nice spell ca-"

"SHAAAAAADDDDDAAAAAAAP!" I spin around and throw a good one right in the kisser, the large breasted offender spinning into the trees. Again, the soft pressure quickly returns, and the pink haired ghost laughs.

"Do-"

"SHADD-"

_**Throb!**_

"Yep, you're done~." I grab my right arm and stare at it. It's bright red, made out of nothing but energy, and giving off steam. _My entire body's_ giving off steam.

"You… what did you do…" I growl out.

"All I did was offer a poor spirit a home." She wraps her arms around me, squeezing tightly. "Poor thing doesn't realize that right now she's burning spiritual energy just to have a physical form." Her marshmallows press into my back. "Still, that was a nice spell card, great for counters~!" I find myself unable to move, the ghost stronger than she looks. "You even managed to get a full three off. Good for you!" I continue to heat up as steam and smoke sizzle from my 'skin,' my body becoming numb.

"Shut….up….and explain…."

"Well, here in Gensokyo we have a spell card sys-"

"EXPLAIN THE RELAVENT STUFF!"

"Souls are made up of two parts, the core which contains 'you,' and the spiritual energy surrounding it. This looks like a fire, which has caused this form to be called will-o'-wisp… form. They usually have less energy than they would like, chilling the air around them. However, when a spirit has excess, or abundant, spiritual energy they can create a physical body from said energy. When that energy runs out, the transformation ends~."

"…Where did you get your information from?"

"A normally quiet shopkeeper."

"I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!"

"Hmm… you may get the chance sometime soon…"

"I'M GONNA…. I'm gonna…" Baseless as it was, the yelling did help to take my attention away from the steam and the sizzling. It also helped that the ghost's mere presence seems to quell any hostility in the air.

"Ah, there, it's done." I look up to see Yuyuko's smiling face at least twice as large, and thrice as frightening.

"B-big…"

"No silly, you just got a little smaller, that's all!" She pulls out a small mirror, holding me tightly against her chest with her other arm, and flashes the mirror at my back. Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see that I don't quite have any, a bright red flame surrounding a white orb of what I guess is a soul. "Can you guess why I want you to stay here?" Yuyuko smiles as she presses me against a breast that is bigger than I am.

"Because… I can't even… move…" I struggle and squirm all I wish, but my strength is gone, evaporated!

"No, it's because you're so cute!" Yuyuko nuzzles her head with mine, if I even have one. "Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to a cute little spirit like you~!"

"Ugh…" Slowly…. Find myself… drifting off…..

"Youmu, would you be a dea…ook after thi…irit for me…"

"Ye…. Of cours….." I'm out….

"Zzzz..."

* * *

**When telling a story, sometimes it's best just to shut up, let the documents do the talking.**

_Jack Spring's Little Black Book:_

"_Yukari Yakumo._

"_Some idiot I don't remember once said, 'There is more in earth and heaven than there exists in the dreams of man.' Or something like that. Regardless, that which exists is Miss Yakumo, I saw her, and I still can't believe it. I doubt she exists, and is just another fancy illusion._

"_I've seen many, and broken more. Or at least… I doubt she's a woman. You really can't tell unless you use touch as well as sight. Which brings me to my next point…_

"_I couldn't touch her, not a grasp! The phantom thief couldn't catch her! Hah! Again, regardless…_

"_She's insane._

"_She has the grace that I wish I had, she has the wisdom that makes my mind think like I had 13 years ago, when I had 'awoken.' She has a tailor that's put to shame by my man in San Fran._

"_Maybe I should give her his card. Though I've never seen him make anything for women…_

"_Confounding._

"_But, back to Yukari! She knows more than me, and that's all I need to know about her! But I want to learn more, especially considering she brought me here, and that she most certainly knows about my past. But the fact that she brought me here… she has teleportation, Reimu said it's her spiritual power, a unique power she was born with._

"_When I was born I was seventeen years old, already a decent thief, and owned an excrement pile of an apartment. Does that count for something?_

"_But Yukari, this woman who could kill with a glance, who speaks with the grace of a scholar, and yet spits on the very notion of romanticism, this woman who is my better in every department…_

"_I like her._

"_She wants me dead._

"_The more things change, the more they stay the same._

"_But regardless… today I was bluffing and spouting nonsense, honestly. She was serious._

"_And she made a threat on my life._

"_A side comment, and yet, chills ran up my spine from that very comment. I've laughed off guns, fists, and even a politician's scorn. And that one, that tiny comment about how easy it would be for her to kill me…_

"_She'll be the end of me._

"_To whom it may concern…_

"_And by that, I mean you Yukari._

"_In the event that I die, or have been deceased, I have prepared this statement. Since you'll probably be my most likely cause of death Yukari, I request you take care of a few of my earthly affairs in my stead, please. I leave all I own, to Alan, the rest of his personal information is on the 5__th__ page of my little black book. It is always in my jacket which I am currently wearing, or am changing into; above the whistle and flashlight. He'll know what to do with the corpse and the rest of my possessions. If you cannot do this, for any reason, I would like to be buried with anything, and everything, currently on my body. Six feet under, with rose seeds mixed with the topsoil._

"_So I want to control how I die._

"_Most people can't even control how they live._

"_But I digress, Miss Yakumo, regardless of whatever goes on, I can honestly say that it was a pleasure meeting you, and that the game was an enjoyable one._

"_Signed,_

"_Jack Spring."_

With this, Jack tears the page out of his little black book, folds it into thirds, places it in an envelope, and places it close to his heart, right behind this little black book.


End file.
